#27 Metamorphosis

Dear diary,

I got to work early today because, strange as it might sound, I really missed the place. What can I say, I like routine. I fumbled around in the glove box for my access card, which is absolutely vital. Not only does it let me into the staffroom at the library, it even lets me into some exclusive clubs free of charge. Talia swears she's even used it to bypass security checks at airports.

Finding my access card, I got out of the car and entered the library back entrance. When I walked into the staffroom I saw Boudecia so I said a friendly "hello", but she didn't seem to hear me. She had her back to me and was unaware I was there. I could see she was rummaging through her drawers (the kind you find in desks, not the other kind, thankfully). Quietly I took a tentative step forward, curious but also careful not to disturb her.

"Mrs Jones? Oh, sorry..."

The words escaped my lips before my brain had time to stop me. Boudecia froze mid-rummage. She turned very slowly, as if on an ungreased turnstile, until she faced me. Her expression was completely devoid of anything identifiable, and in her hand she held...

...a mouse, by its tail. It squirmed helplessly as my boss and I stood locked in silent hesitation. My eyes darted behind Boudecia and saw the birdcage on her desk was open and empty. My gaze fell back upon the dangling rodent. Several hours passed in the next few seconds, before Boudecia finally broke the unnerving silence.

"It's Ms Jones, thank you."
"Sorry."
"I suppose you were going to find out sooner or later."
"Sorry?"
"Tell me Jay, have you ever noticed that this library isn't like other libraries?"
"...Sorry?"
"Of course you've noticed. When you walk along the Reference aisle, if you look up you can see the nests."
"Sorry, I-"
"If you kneel down in the Junior section and look under the shelves you can see the small holes in the floor. Tunnels, in fact, for the mice." She held her captive mouse up as evidence.
"Sorry, P-"
"The intricately woven spider webs on the ceiling in the Local History room?"
"Sorry."
"Or the disused cubicle in the men's with the toads living in it?"
"Sorry." I was struggling to find something more to add here.
"How about Goldie's three cats living under her desk?"
"...Sorry?" A faint mewling sound came from underneath the corner desk.
"Hmm, maybe it is too early for you. However, you've proven yourself in the past. You're a part of this library Jay, one of the staff. I was going to show you eventually, but my plans have been hastened ahead of schedule. No matter. Observe," she said, and dropped the mouse onto the open floor.

It happened so quickly that neither I nor the mouse had any time to react. As Boudecia dropped the mouse se began to shrink rapidly. Her black dress clung to her pale white skin, and then merged with it. Feathers erupted down her arm and face. The end of her pointed shoes split into three claws. All the while she was compacting in on herself, like a sudden implosion. The mouse hit the floor running, but that couldn't save it. Boudecia snatched it in her talon, brought it up to her beak and killed it, in one swift motion.

I stared in awe as I watched my boss-cum-owl devour a live mouse. My brain had shut down and was doing the simplest thing possible: recording information. I could feel this moment being imprinted into my long term memory. No amount of repression could delete this from my head. It was simultaneously the most frightening, fascinating and engaging moment of my entire life.

After she had finished her meal, Boudecia reverted back to her human self in a similar fashion to her first metamorphosis. She walked over to me and placed her tal-, sorry, hand, on my shoulder. Her smile was eerie and penetrating. All I could do was stare blankly at the spot on the floor where the mouse had died. There was a small blood stain on the carpet.

Boudecia sat me down in my zombie-like state and made me a cup of tea. I accepted i wordlessly, still staring at that patch on the floor. She talked to me, saying something about her needing to show me that urgently because her plans had gone awry, but I didn't hear any of it. The other staff began to turn up, one by one. I could tell by the way they acted around me that they all knew why I was in that state. Pepper gave me a big hug and, after receiving an almost imperceptible nod from Boudecia, said I could have the day off. Do something nice for yourself, she told me.

Mum came to pick me up as I wasn't up to driving. I spent the day watching the Stuart Little series on DVD. It was the library's copy, and mum couldn't understand why I cried the whole way through.

-Jay