Dear diary,
Today was the staff Christmas break-up, so we all went out for a yum cha lunch in the city. I aimed to get there ten minutes early so I would have enough time to find free parking, but ended up driving around the block in concentric circles for twenty minutes until I found a tiny spot between two dumpsters in a disused alleyway. Score!
I got there to find most people there, including Shannon, who'd come with Talia. They'd found a disabled parking spot conveniently out the front of the restaurant, which really annoyed me. One by one the other staff arrived, all complaining about the cost of parking, and once we were all seated Boudecia made a short speech about how much effort we'd all put in this year. She especially thanked Shannon for her dedication to the library in its extreme, and then to me for all Id done in the past two months. I was so embarrassed I turned as red as the sweet chili sauce in the cruet on the table. Goldie had tears streaming down her face, she was so emotional.
I was grateful when the food arrived and distracted everyone. As we all picked our favourite from the food trolley I gave an understanding and sympathetic smile to the girl who was serving us. I know all too well what it's like having to cart a trolley around all day. I chose the phoenix claws (read: fried chicken's feet) and offered them around, but strangely no-one was game to try one, so I had the lot to myself.
It was a really great meal, and with good company. Boudecia and Shannon went outside to talk while TJ and I discussed Marvel comic for ages, with Bron and Talia joining the conversation occasionally with litle things they knew about it. When Sylvia interrupted and saying the cartoons were much better we told her about all the storylines they hadn't adapted from the original comics. Goldie and Ernesto just shook their heads, muttering to each other about the illiteracy of youth these days. But hey, young people reading something, anything, is definitely an improvement over reading nothing.
I decided that now was the right time to tell. I called for silence, and you'd be amazed how quickly you get the desired effect when you're with people who work in a library. I announced that I'd been offered a job interstate, and that I'd been thinking about and come to a decision. I'd chosen to decline the offer, and stay in Melbourne. I didn't expect the applause that followed, or the bunch of flowers Bron presented to me, and definitely not the bearhug I got from Talia. I felt so loved right then.
But there was something else I had to do. I excused myself and walked outside t where Boudecia and Shannon were talking. Apologising to Boudecia for interrupting, I confronted Shannon and asked her why she'd done it. Shannon took a long drag from her cigarette before replying. She said she'd wanted to get back at the library because her injury there had cost her so much. She said she'd come into the library and asked Goldie if she could check a book out to herself, like old times. All she needed to do then was get access to the system, plug in her USB stick, download the virus into the system, and leave before the whole thing crashed.
I'd worked out the culprit by process of illimination: who had the motive and wouldn't be affected by sabotaging the in-house system? But Boudecia had guessed almost immediately, but had had to do in-depth investigations in order to find proof. She hadn't told the other staff because she didn't want to damage Shannon's reputation. We stood there in silence for a while, letting it all sink in. Boudecia broke the silence by asking Shannon, completely out of the blue, whether she'd like to come back to work at the library. As a volunteer, of course. Shannon put out her cigarette with her wheels and reluctantly agreed. The three of us turned and went back inside to join the others as if nothing had happened.
So that's that. I'm going on holidays to South Australia, to see whether I'd really like to live over there, so I'm going to end this journal on that note. It's been a interesting two months working in the library. While I'm on holidays Boudecia has asked me to do some online 'homework' for her, something called the Learning 2.0 Program. I'll get started on that as soon as I can.
So goodbye all, for now, and thanks for reading!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
#23 Nostalgia
Dear diary,
I can't believe I was so stupid! It was closing time at the library last night, and I was hurrying to finish my trolley. I looked at my watch: 8:58. Only ten folio books to shelve. Easy. I struggled to wedge them into their correct positions, butt he shelves were packed too tightly. My muscles were strained, and beads of sweat were pouring down my forehead. Finally the last one slid into place, though the tier was threatening to burst if anyone tried to take a book from it.
TICK
I ran back to the front desk... but there was no-one there. The front door had already been closed. I called out but heard nothing. I checked my watch: 9:13!? Had it really taken me fifteen minutes to shelve ten folios? I called out again, panic rising in my voice. I scoured the library but couldn't see anyone The staffroom door was locked and I didn't have a keycard, so I knocked once, twice, three times, my fists pounding the door. Nothing.
TOCK
I reviewed my options, one of them looking too good. One of the issues raised the other week was that the library was changing over the cleaning staff, and that there would be a few days in the change-over period where no-one was coming in and we'd have to clean up after ourselves. So, no cleaners in shining armour to come to my aid. My mobile battery was dead and I have no idea how to switch off the answering machine on the front desk phones. The library was recently upgraded with state-of-the-art security measures; the rolling blinds had come down over the 5-inch reinforced windows. The one thing that hadn't been upgraded was the motion-sensor detector system which, as I came to realise that night, is broken.
TICK
I was trapped. In the library. Overnight.
TOCK
I wandered the shelves, feeling pretty desolate. Surely I wouldn't have to spend the night in here. How did this happen? Surely one of the staff on tonight would have noticed they hadn't seen me leave, or... no, they're always busy serving people or doing last-minute closing procedures to even acknowledge me when I say goodnight. I'm noticing a theme emerging here.
TICK
After all, I'm just a lowly shelver. to them. I come in, say hi, then go off into the shelves. I only see any of them every thirty minutes or so to restock my trolley. And when they come to find me it's usually just to tell me which section I need to do next. The patrons aren't much better. They expect me to know exactly where to find books on carpeting or why the latest edition of Woman's Day is missing. And they leave piles of books around the carrels like detritus. It's a thankless job, shelving.
TOCK
I was in Junior at that time, and i remember suddeny thinking back to the time I helped make the giant castle, and how fun that had been. It brought back other memories of good times in the library: my initiaion party and meeting all the other staff, the nice woman who brought cupcakes, racing through the shelves with Talia, my first day of shelving with Talia, that one time Talia- oh wait, that was in a dream. There've also been some exciting or intense times: being chased by a madwoman, being involved in a chase after a madman, being knocked unconscious more than once, saving that guy from the wreckage of Reference...
TICK
So then I really got to thinking about my work, and came to realise something: for all its faults, I really enjoy it. Sure, my work might go underappreciated sometimes. Sure, I might be bossed around and forced to pick up other people's mess. But you know what? I like working in a library, not because it's easy work, not because the pay is great, but because I enjoy being part of a team dedicated to upholding the library tradition of... of...
TOCK
It was at that point that mental fatigue (and a lack of dinner) really hit me, and I couldn't continue that train of thought. So I pulled up a comfy armchair, picked up a good book and read myself to sleep. In the morning I hid on top of a Reference shelf and waited while the staff did their morning shelf-reading. Once they'd gone I slpped down, dusted myself off and walked out the front door, pretending I'd just come in to hand in my timesheet. Smooth.
I can't believe I was so stupid! It was closing time at the library last night, and I was hurrying to finish my trolley. I looked at my watch: 8:58. Only ten folio books to shelve. Easy. I struggled to wedge them into their correct positions, butt he shelves were packed too tightly. My muscles were strained, and beads of sweat were pouring down my forehead. Finally the last one slid into place, though the tier was threatening to burst if anyone tried to take a book from it.
TICK
I ran back to the front desk... but there was no-one there. The front door had already been closed. I called out but heard nothing. I checked my watch: 9:13!? Had it really taken me fifteen minutes to shelve ten folios? I called out again, panic rising in my voice. I scoured the library but couldn't see anyone The staffroom door was locked and I didn't have a keycard, so I knocked once, twice, three times, my fists pounding the door. Nothing.
TOCK
I reviewed my options, one of them looking too good. One of the issues raised the other week was that the library was changing over the cleaning staff, and that there would be a few days in the change-over period where no-one was coming in and we'd have to clean up after ourselves. So, no cleaners in shining armour to come to my aid. My mobile battery was dead and I have no idea how to switch off the answering machine on the front desk phones. The library was recently upgraded with state-of-the-art security measures; the rolling blinds had come down over the 5-inch reinforced windows. The one thing that hadn't been upgraded was the motion-sensor detector system which, as I came to realise that night, is broken.
TICK
I was trapped. In the library. Overnight.
TOCK
I wandered the shelves, feeling pretty desolate. Surely I wouldn't have to spend the night in here. How did this happen? Surely one of the staff on tonight would have noticed they hadn't seen me leave, or... no, they're always busy serving people or doing last-minute closing procedures to even acknowledge me when I say goodnight. I'm noticing a theme emerging here.
TICK
After all, I'm just a lowly shelver. to them. I come in, say hi, then go off into the shelves. I only see any of them every thirty minutes or so to restock my trolley. And when they come to find me it's usually just to tell me which section I need to do next. The patrons aren't much better. They expect me to know exactly where to find books on carpeting or why the latest edition of Woman's Day is missing. And they leave piles of books around the carrels like detritus. It's a thankless job, shelving.
TOCK
I was in Junior at that time, and i remember suddeny thinking back to the time I helped make the giant castle, and how fun that had been. It brought back other memories of good times in the library: my initiaion party and meeting all the other staff, the nice woman who brought cupcakes, racing through the shelves with Talia, my first day of shelving with Talia, that one time Talia- oh wait, that was in a dream. There've also been some exciting or intense times: being chased by a madwoman, being involved in a chase after a madman, being knocked unconscious more than once, saving that guy from the wreckage of Reference...
TICK
So then I really got to thinking about my work, and came to realise something: for all its faults, I really enjoy it. Sure, my work might go underappreciated sometimes. Sure, I might be bossed around and forced to pick up other people's mess. But you know what? I like working in a library, not because it's easy work, not because the pay is great, but because I enjoy being part of a team dedicated to upholding the library tradition of... of...
TOCK
It was at that point that mental fatigue (and a lack of dinner) really hit me, and I couldn't continue that train of thought. So I pulled up a comfy armchair, picked up a good book and read myself to sleep. In the morning I hid on top of a Reference shelf and waited while the staff did their morning shelf-reading. Once they'd gone I slpped down, dusted myself off and walked out the front door, pretending I'd just come in to hand in my timesheet. Smooth.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
#22 Teamwork
Dear diary,
Make sure you watch the news tomorrow night - you might catch a segment about how the library staff caught a criminal red-handed. It was a huge concerted effort by all of us, and very heroic, if I may say so. Here's the scoop:
We had a staff meeting today, well, more of a debriefing. As Boudecia was still strangely absent, Goldie took the mantle of leadership for the meeting. We discussed the problems incurred due to the system crashing, and the more pressing issue of the vanished Head Librarian. We also brought up the recent spate of book theft and vandalism which had been terrorising other local libraries. I had planned on mentioning my job offer in Adelaide, but decided to let it sit for the moment. No need to complicate matters.
I put it down to our increased vigilance for book safety that we first noticed the man in the trenchcoat. His shifty look and darting movements came to the attention of all of us as we were leaving the meeting room. Goldie asked me to keep an eye on him, you know, just in case. I found an excuse to shelve in his general vicinity and dogged his movements out of the corner of my eye. In the magazine section I watched him take some editions of Ralph (why do we even have that?) and slide them under his trenchcoat. Very dodgy.
I tailed him into Non-Fiction, making sure to keep out of his sight by commando rolling and ducking behind squat reading tables. He picked up a Lonely Planet guide to France, flicked through it, took out a pen and scribbled on the page. He then selected another book, a folio on Inuit culture. He tore out the middle page and stuffed it and the guidebook into his trenchcoat. My mouth hung open in shock as he proceeded to swipe unwary books from the shelves and hide them on his person.
He began to walk to the front of the library, so I took a shortcut along Reference to beat him there. I hastily warned Bron and TJ about him, just in time to see him walk past the borrowing counter towards the exit. Bron asked him if he had anything he wanted to borrow, but he ignored her and kept going. Bron reached into the drawer and threw a ring of keys to TJ, who had swiftly dashed over to the door controls. In one movement he grabbed the keys and spun to lock the door.
The man, realising we had him trapped, turned and bumped into Talia. "Sorry," she said sarcastically as a handful of books spilled out from under his coat. He pushed her back hard into Goldie, who luckily managed to catch her without losing her own footing.
"How DARE you do that to her!" Goldie's voice echoed throughout the library, causing everyone to stop and stare. A burly man using PC4 stood up, the glare he fixated on the trenchcoated man full of anger. The thief fled to the back of the library, with me in hot-footed pursuit. I saw him accost Pepper, who shrieked and grabbed onto his trenchcoat. As he ripped her security swipecard from its chain around her neck she pulled off his coat, liberating the library's stolen goods. While I stopped to see if Pepper was alright he used the card to lock himself inside the staffroom.
Five seconds later he came out running, Ernesto lumbering after him. The man flicked out a Swiss Army Knife and waved it at us menacingly. But he didn't count on Sylvia coming up from behind and flykicking it out of his hand. We blocked off all his available exits. He backed into the local history room and grabbed hold of a nearby reader, a young boy.
"Get back, bookworms, and I'll let the kid go safely once I'm out the door."
"No." Boudecia stepped out from the shadows. She extended her hand towards the young boy. The man hesitated, and so did the rest of us. My heart was pounding so fast it felt like it would explode. Boudecia did not blink as she stared down the thief for what seemed like an eternity. Seconds dragged into hours as time held us in its icy grip. Only Boudecia seemed unaffected. She stepped forward and took the boy's hand in hers. As soon as they were apart from the man time returned to normal speed. The man was in a trance-like state. Boudecia let go of the boy's hand and he ran to the arms of his greatly relieved mother. The police stormed past me to arrest the unmoving criminal. My heartbeat started to slow to normal pace. It was over.
In the second meeting, more ad hoc than the last, Boudecia explained why she had been gone for so long. She'd been investigating the inexplicable system crash, speaking to certain 'contacts' of hers. She had concluded that it had been caused by a bug in the system, and that it had all been sorted out and we weren't to worry. I didn't believe her for one second. For a while I'd thought it had been her, but there was no motive, and if she had done it, why vanish for several days? No, it was definitely someone else who had intimate access to the system, and I've got a good idea whom.
Ah well, it's been a good day regardless. One criminal caught, many books saved. Now I've just got to massage my back; those commando rolls put something out of place. Ow ow ow
Make sure you watch the news tomorrow night - you might catch a segment about how the library staff caught a criminal red-handed. It was a huge concerted effort by all of us, and very heroic, if I may say so. Here's the scoop:
We had a staff meeting today, well, more of a debriefing. As Boudecia was still strangely absent, Goldie took the mantle of leadership for the meeting. We discussed the problems incurred due to the system crashing, and the more pressing issue of the vanished Head Librarian. We also brought up the recent spate of book theft and vandalism which had been terrorising other local libraries. I had planned on mentioning my job offer in Adelaide, but decided to let it sit for the moment. No need to complicate matters.
I put it down to our increased vigilance for book safety that we first noticed the man in the trenchcoat. His shifty look and darting movements came to the attention of all of us as we were leaving the meeting room. Goldie asked me to keep an eye on him, you know, just in case. I found an excuse to shelve in his general vicinity and dogged his movements out of the corner of my eye. In the magazine section I watched him take some editions of Ralph (why do we even have that?) and slide them under his trenchcoat. Very dodgy.
I tailed him into Non-Fiction, making sure to keep out of his sight by commando rolling and ducking behind squat reading tables. He picked up a Lonely Planet guide to France, flicked through it, took out a pen and scribbled on the page. He then selected another book, a folio on Inuit culture. He tore out the middle page and stuffed it and the guidebook into his trenchcoat. My mouth hung open in shock as he proceeded to swipe unwary books from the shelves and hide them on his person.
He began to walk to the front of the library, so I took a shortcut along Reference to beat him there. I hastily warned Bron and TJ about him, just in time to see him walk past the borrowing counter towards the exit. Bron asked him if he had anything he wanted to borrow, but he ignored her and kept going. Bron reached into the drawer and threw a ring of keys to TJ, who had swiftly dashed over to the door controls. In one movement he grabbed the keys and spun to lock the door.
The man, realising we had him trapped, turned and bumped into Talia. "Sorry," she said sarcastically as a handful of books spilled out from under his coat. He pushed her back hard into Goldie, who luckily managed to catch her without losing her own footing.
"How DARE you do that to her!" Goldie's voice echoed throughout the library, causing everyone to stop and stare. A burly man using PC4 stood up, the glare he fixated on the trenchcoated man full of anger. The thief fled to the back of the library, with me in hot-footed pursuit. I saw him accost Pepper, who shrieked and grabbed onto his trenchcoat. As he ripped her security swipecard from its chain around her neck she pulled off his coat, liberating the library's stolen goods. While I stopped to see if Pepper was alright he used the card to lock himself inside the staffroom.
Five seconds later he came out running, Ernesto lumbering after him. The man flicked out a Swiss Army Knife and waved it at us menacingly. But he didn't count on Sylvia coming up from behind and flykicking it out of his hand. We blocked off all his available exits. He backed into the local history room and grabbed hold of a nearby reader, a young boy.
"Get back, bookworms, and I'll let the kid go safely once I'm out the door."
"No." Boudecia stepped out from the shadows. She extended her hand towards the young boy. The man hesitated, and so did the rest of us. My heart was pounding so fast it felt like it would explode. Boudecia did not blink as she stared down the thief for what seemed like an eternity. Seconds dragged into hours as time held us in its icy grip. Only Boudecia seemed unaffected. She stepped forward and took the boy's hand in hers. As soon as they were apart from the man time returned to normal speed. The man was in a trance-like state. Boudecia let go of the boy's hand and he ran to the arms of his greatly relieved mother. The police stormed past me to arrest the unmoving criminal. My heartbeat started to slow to normal pace. It was over.
In the second meeting, more ad hoc than the last, Boudecia explained why she had been gone for so long. She'd been investigating the inexplicable system crash, speaking to certain 'contacts' of hers. She had concluded that it had been caused by a bug in the system, and that it had all been sorted out and we weren't to worry. I didn't believe her for one second. For a while I'd thought it had been her, but there was no motive, and if she had done it, why vanish for several days? No, it was definitely someone else who had intimate access to the system, and I've got a good idea whom.
Ah well, it's been a good day regardless. One criminal caught, many books saved. Now I've just got to massage my back; those commando rolls put something out of place. Ow ow ow
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
#21 Deciding...
Dear diary,
I'm at a crossroads right now. I've practically finished my uni degree, just have to get my results back. I wanted to set myself up for some work in the software engineering field, so a few months ago I applied for a whole batch of jobs in the field, including a microtechnology company in Adelaide. This morning I got an e-mail back from them saying I'd got the position, if I was still interested.
This company is incredible. They're revolutionising microchip manufacturing and development, with new pieces of technology which can only be seen under a microscope. They have mobile phones which are so compact the buttons can only be pressed using a delicate needle. They invented the ultimate bathroom accessory, which can alternate between a hair straightener, blowdryer, nasal hair remover, exfoliator, zit-buster and about thirty other functions. Just make sure you don't confuse the automated hairbrush with the electronic toothbrush, or vice versa.
I would love the chance to work for them, but it would mean a big change for me. For one I would have to leave Melbourne and move to a foreign city. I don't have the accent quite down-pat yet, and knowing that drinking water straight from the tap could put me in hospital is a bit daunting. But it would also mean I'd have to leave the library. Over the past couple of months I've really grown to like that place. It's a weird, whacky workplace with wild whimsy and wonderful writings, ambling adventures and authentic authorial articulation (and alliteration), absent of actual arduous activity.
I wondered as I wandered the shelves today, which path should I follow: start my career at one of the most innovative and internationally software engineering companies, or take some time off after uni and just enjoy working in the relatively relaxed environment of the library? Push myself to climb the corporate ladder or enjoy a simpler life? Whichever choice I make I'm going to regret not doing the other.
Today didn't help to distract me from my dilemma. A man came asking fr books on decision-making (his wife had sent him to the library). I couldn't work out which section to send him to (658 for business management, or 158 for psychology?), so I told him to pick whichever he liked best. I was then approached by two people at the same time, vying for my attention. One was a sheer businesswoman dressed in corporate grey, the other a cheerful old man wearing faded, homely grey. Didn't realise grey was that popular. I tried to help them simultaneously, but I think I just confused them both with my vague answers to their questions. Then as I was shelving in Junior, a mother-of-two asked for my opinion on which of two picture books would be better for her kids. I couldn't take it so I threw my hands up and ran away.
I couldn't wait for the shift to end so I could go home. But we had to wait an extra ten for the indecisive man to leave - he was still choosing which book to borrow.
(The indecisive man incident really did happen to me. It was hilarious, though not so much for him. -The author)
I'm at a crossroads right now. I've practically finished my uni degree, just have to get my results back. I wanted to set myself up for some work in the software engineering field, so a few months ago I applied for a whole batch of jobs in the field, including a microtechnology company in Adelaide. This morning I got an e-mail back from them saying I'd got the position, if I was still interested.
This company is incredible. They're revolutionising microchip manufacturing and development, with new pieces of technology which can only be seen under a microscope. They have mobile phones which are so compact the buttons can only be pressed using a delicate needle. They invented the ultimate bathroom accessory, which can alternate between a hair straightener, blowdryer, nasal hair remover, exfoliator, zit-buster and about thirty other functions. Just make sure you don't confuse the automated hairbrush with the electronic toothbrush, or vice versa.
I would love the chance to work for them, but it would mean a big change for me. For one I would have to leave Melbourne and move to a foreign city. I don't have the accent quite down-pat yet, and knowing that drinking water straight from the tap could put me in hospital is a bit daunting. But it would also mean I'd have to leave the library. Over the past couple of months I've really grown to like that place. It's a weird, whacky workplace with wild whimsy and wonderful writings, ambling adventures and authentic authorial articulation (and alliteration), absent of actual arduous activity.
I wondered as I wandered the shelves today, which path should I follow: start my career at one of the most innovative and internationally software engineering companies, or take some time off after uni and just enjoy working in the relatively relaxed environment of the library? Push myself to climb the corporate ladder or enjoy a simpler life? Whichever choice I make I'm going to regret not doing the other.
Today didn't help to distract me from my dilemma. A man came asking fr books on decision-making (his wife had sent him to the library). I couldn't work out which section to send him to (658 for business management, or 158 for psychology?), so I told him to pick whichever he liked best. I was then approached by two people at the same time, vying for my attention. One was a sheer businesswoman dressed in corporate grey, the other a cheerful old man wearing faded, homely grey. Didn't realise grey was that popular. I tried to help them simultaneously, but I think I just confused them both with my vague answers to their questions. Then as I was shelving in Junior, a mother-of-two asked for my opinion on which of two picture books would be better for her kids. I couldn't take it so I threw my hands up and ran away.
I couldn't wait for the shift to end so I could go home. But we had to wait an extra ten for the indecisive man to leave - he was still choosing which book to borrow.
(The indecisive man incident really did happen to me. It was hilarious, though not so much for him. -The author)
Monday, December 10, 2007
#20 Special character bios - TJ, Pepper & Ernesto
Let's take another short break from the hectic world of the library to look at the final three characters: TJ, Pepper and Ernesto. Nothing else to say really except enjoy. So, enjoy!
TJ
TJ, real name Thomas John (24), has always travelled the easy road. Having finished. He started a uni course but soon realised he didn't have the patience to actually study, so he gave up and slacked around at home. He frequented the library to pass away the time reading the graphic novels, and when a position for a shelver was advertised he took it up as a way to spend even more time in the library. TJ's knowledge of teenage literature is second to none, and he's quite happy to sit back knowing that he's not going to be replaced any time soon. If he can find an excuse not to work he will, though he has been putting a lot of effort in trying to work up the courage to ask Sylvia out on a date. One day he'll get around to it. One day.
PEPPER
Pepper (39) is bubbly and friendly most of the time, especially when organising children's events and putting on voices for storytime. When she's unhappy she'll storm off and sulk for hours on end until someone comes over to lend a friendly ear. Pepper's biggest concern is that her fortieth birthday is fast approaching and she definitely doesn't think she's ready for it. She would rather pretend it's her twentieth again and invite all the kids from the library to the park for fun and games. She enjoys planning big parties, creative design and ballet.
ERNESTO
A mysterious man with an equally mysterious past, Ernesto (somewhere around 60) left the monastery to become a Reference Librarian. He is a man of few words, preferring to let his actions speak for themselves. When he does speak his heavy Portugese accent resonates with a deep wisdom. He seems to radiate calmness and temperance, halting argumentative patrons (and staff) in their tracks. Ernesto treats the library as a flock he must tender, guiding patrons to the book that feels right to them while warding off distractors.
***Thanks to everyone who kept reading this far. I know, I write too much, but there're only four more entries after this ne and then you can relax. I know I will.
-The author
TJ
TJ, real name Thomas John (24), has always travelled the easy road. Having finished. He started a uni course but soon realised he didn't have the patience to actually study, so he gave up and slacked around at home. He frequented the library to pass away the time reading the graphic novels, and when a position for a shelver was advertised he took it up as a way to spend even more time in the library. TJ's knowledge of teenage literature is second to none, and he's quite happy to sit back knowing that he's not going to be replaced any time soon. If he can find an excuse not to work he will, though he has been putting a lot of effort in trying to work up the courage to ask Sylvia out on a date. One day he'll get around to it. One day.
PEPPER
Pepper (39) is bubbly and friendly most of the time, especially when organising children's events and putting on voices for storytime. When she's unhappy she'll storm off and sulk for hours on end until someone comes over to lend a friendly ear. Pepper's biggest concern is that her fortieth birthday is fast approaching and she definitely doesn't think she's ready for it. She would rather pretend it's her twentieth again and invite all the kids from the library to the park for fun and games. She enjoys planning big parties, creative design and ballet.
ERNESTO
A mysterious man with an equally mysterious past, Ernesto (somewhere around 60) left the monastery to become a Reference Librarian. He is a man of few words, preferring to let his actions speak for themselves. When he does speak his heavy Portugese accent resonates with a deep wisdom. He seems to radiate calmness and temperance, halting argumentative patrons (and staff) in their tracks. Ernesto treats the library as a flock he must tender, guiding patrons to the book that feels right to them while warding off distractors.
***Thanks to everyone who kept reading this far. I know, I write too much, but there're only four more entries after this ne and then you can relax. I know I will.
-The author
Friday, December 7, 2007
#19 Exorcism
Dear diary,
Boudecia's still missing; no-one has been able to contact her. I'm thinking her disppearance has something to do with the recent problem with the system. When it crashed I immediately blamed the poltergeist, because of its mischievous warning. Unfortunately I hadn't been able to confirm my theory for a couple of reasons: (a) no-one else besides Talia believes it even exists, and (b) it hasn't shown up since then. It's difficult to interrogate an invisible, noncorporeal phantasm which may or may not be real in between shelving. Trust me.
Just as I'd pushed it to the back of my mind, it appeared again. I was in No Man's Land, that awkward empty space between Fiction and Non-Fiction, when three books whipped off the Fiction trolley:
HAV ING FUN
"Go away, I've had enough of your jokes. They're just not funny," I whispered angrily, with strains of weariness and fear in my voice. Some hunger too, as I'd skipped lunch and was really not in the mood for games.
WHY NOT
"Just, because." Wow, how lame.
JEE ZUN FUN
"You brought down the system! It took me and Sylvia hours to repair it! You caused hundreds of dollars worth of damage! Get out of here before I throw the book at you!"
SYL VIA AND I
I gathered up the growing pile of Fiction books on the floor, including the misplaced Paperback, all the while muttering to myself. I wouldn't let it get the better of me, not this time. I marched to the front desk and dumped the books noisily on the check-in counter, causing Ernesto to take notice. He stared at me weirdly. I mumbled "poltergeist was reading these" and strode back to my trolley, getting angrier all the time. When I got back to Fiction I found books strewn all over the floor.
LIL BAB YUP SET BUT SYS TEM STU FUP NOT MYN
A man and his son tippie-toed over the mess. The father looked at me and shook his head, dismayed that I'd let the library come to ruin. That was the last straw. I shrieked furiously and grabbed specific books off the shelf.
HOW ZAT YAS
I was about to finish my sentence with a Colleen Hitchcock novel when Ernesto appeared. He had changed into a ceremonial red robe and donned a priest's skullcap. I dropped the book out of embarrassment.
"Last time you said you'd seen a poltergeist I asked you to get a glass of water. Best you go do that now."
I ran to the staffroom and poured myself a glass. Pity it wasn't vodka, because I'd really have liked a shot at that moment. With glass in hand I returned to find Ernesto chanting and holding forth a crosier which had come out of nowhere. Books were flying around him, but he was in the eye of the storm and therefore untouched. As the literary wind picked up speed, a solitary folio flew out and landed at my feet. I saw Ernesto mouth the word "read", so I did.
F 060.77105 IND
"Find what?" I called out, but my words were lost in the whirlwind. He looked and me and said "turn". Placing the glass on the table I slowly inverted the book and read the second part of the message in the Dewey number.
"Soil logo? What the? Where's that?" I called out. Ernesto shrugged, his attention clearly focused on controlling the tempest brewing inside the library. Suddenly it dawned on me. I ducked into the 800s, making a beeline for poetry. I dropped to my knees and found my target: the small cairn Ernesto and I had erected in memory of a former shelver. I drew in breath then exhaled, blowing the rubbish everywhere. The wind died instantaneously.
Ernesto and I sat in the armchairs. He looked exhausted. We sat for a while in silence efor I asked him what had happened. He motioned to the glass of water, which had turned a purple colour.
"In there now. Vengeful spirit we created. Defeated by an old man and a shelver. Balance restored."
We got up and walked to the staffroom with the glass of ghostly water. I watched as he poured it down the sink, gone forever. It had been a pest, I'll give it that, but the last thing the poltergeist said was that it didn't cause the system to crash. If that's true, then who or what did?
Boudecia's still missing; no-one has been able to contact her. I'm thinking her disppearance has something to do with the recent problem with the system. When it crashed I immediately blamed the poltergeist, because of its mischievous warning. Unfortunately I hadn't been able to confirm my theory for a couple of reasons: (a) no-one else besides Talia believes it even exists, and (b) it hasn't shown up since then. It's difficult to interrogate an invisible, noncorporeal phantasm which may or may not be real in between shelving. Trust me.
Just as I'd pushed it to the back of my mind, it appeared again. I was in No Man's Land, that awkward empty space between Fiction and Non-Fiction, when three books whipped off the Fiction trolley:
HAV ING FUN
"Go away, I've had enough of your jokes. They're just not funny," I whispered angrily, with strains of weariness and fear in my voice. Some hunger too, as I'd skipped lunch and was really not in the mood for games.
WHY NOT
"Just, because." Wow, how lame.
JEE ZUN FUN
"You brought down the system! It took me and Sylvia hours to repair it! You caused hundreds of dollars worth of damage! Get out of here before I throw the book at you!"
SYL VIA AND I
I gathered up the growing pile of Fiction books on the floor, including the misplaced Paperback, all the while muttering to myself. I wouldn't let it get the better of me, not this time. I marched to the front desk and dumped the books noisily on the check-in counter, causing Ernesto to take notice. He stared at me weirdly. I mumbled "poltergeist was reading these" and strode back to my trolley, getting angrier all the time. When I got back to Fiction I found books strewn all over the floor.
LIL BAB YUP SET BUT SYS TEM STU FUP NOT MYN
A man and his son tippie-toed over the mess. The father looked at me and shook his head, dismayed that I'd let the library come to ruin. That was the last straw. I shrieked furiously and grabbed specific books off the shelf.
HOW ZAT YAS
I was about to finish my sentence with a Colleen Hitchcock novel when Ernesto appeared. He had changed into a ceremonial red robe and donned a priest's skullcap. I dropped the book out of embarrassment.
"Last time you said you'd seen a poltergeist I asked you to get a glass of water. Best you go do that now."
I ran to the staffroom and poured myself a glass. Pity it wasn't vodka, because I'd really have liked a shot at that moment. With glass in hand I returned to find Ernesto chanting and holding forth a crosier which had come out of nowhere. Books were flying around him, but he was in the eye of the storm and therefore untouched. As the literary wind picked up speed, a solitary folio flew out and landed at my feet. I saw Ernesto mouth the word "read", so I did.
F 060.77105 IND
"Find what?" I called out, but my words were lost in the whirlwind. He looked and me and said "turn". Placing the glass on the table I slowly inverted the book and read the second part of the message in the Dewey number.
"Soil logo? What the? Where's that?" I called out. Ernesto shrugged, his attention clearly focused on controlling the tempest brewing inside the library. Suddenly it dawned on me. I ducked into the 800s, making a beeline for poetry. I dropped to my knees and found my target: the small cairn Ernesto and I had erected in memory of a former shelver. I drew in breath then exhaled, blowing the rubbish everywhere. The wind died instantaneously.
Ernesto and I sat in the armchairs. He looked exhausted. We sat for a while in silence efor I asked him what had happened. He motioned to the glass of water, which had turned a purple colour.
"In there now. Vengeful spirit we created. Defeated by an old man and a shelver. Balance restored."
We got up and walked to the staffroom with the glass of ghostly water. I watched as he poured it down the sink, gone forever. It had been a pest, I'll give it that, but the last thing the poltergeist said was that it didn't cause the system to crash. If that's true, then who or what did?
Thursday, December 6, 2007
#18 Taxonomy
Dear diary,
I've begun to notice there's a very distinct boundary between patrons and library staff. They think and act differently. For one, other peple don't know Dewey. It's the most logical classification system ever invented, and they should use it in bookstores. I've come up with some categories for patrons:
Nice People - Thankfully this group makes up the majority of patrons. They're ind, polite and provide you with a warm snse of job satisfaction when they find what they're looking for. One woman, after I helped her find books on canaries for her grandchildren, returned later that day with a plate of cupcakes for the staff. Te only problem with these people is that they tend to be s nice that they don't want to interrupt what you're doing, so I rarely get to speak to them.
The Oblivious - Safest when seated, otherwise they stumble around completely unaware of their surroundings. Some of them are Readwalkers who, well, read while they walk. I've had a couple of them collide with my trolley when it's been sticking out into an aisle.
Wanderers - I've seen people walk around the library and stare at the shelves dumbfounded for half an hour, because they don't know where to look. They rarely ask for directions, probably because they feel stupid enough already. I feel bad about leaving them there, but I'm always busy doing something else.
Collectors - These people, once they find out what section they're after, grab every book they can find on a topic. They take those books to one of the carrels, flick through them then leave them all lying around for me to pick up after them. How annoying.
Displayers - I've seen documentaries where lions have hunted down zebras and mutilated them, leaving a bloodied carcass strewn across the dusty savannah. These people do much the same to piles of books, especially in narrow aisles. Major trolley hazard.
Seekers - They know all too well how to use the catalogue terminals, but they never leave them, prepared to sit there for hours until they've found everything they want. If they're not on the catalogues they're coming up to you with a list full of catalogue references, asking you to pinpoint their locations. They often presume to know more than you about the library layout.
Inquisitors - Question after question after question. The temptation to slap them is hard to resist. I once made the mistake of trying to show one man how to use the catalogue. Forty minutes later I was still explaining how to use the advance search, having made little headway. These people are usually elderly technophobes or parents 'helping' their kids research a school project.
Taskmasters - This last group is by far the most irritating. They have no qualms about interrupting you because they believe the world revolves around them. If you don't fulfil their every demand they threaten to inform our superior of your insolence. They often show little respect for privacy or property. One Taskmaster I was trying to appease snatched a book from the hands of a Readwalker, flcked through it quickly then rammed it into the wrong spot on a nearby shelf.
If you can think of any I've left out let me know. Libraries - they're a crazy world.
I've begun to notice there's a very distinct boundary between patrons and library staff. They think and act differently. For one, other peple don't know Dewey. It's the most logical classification system ever invented, and they should use it in bookstores. I've come up with some categories for patrons:
Nice People - Thankfully this group makes up the majority of patrons. They're ind, polite and provide you with a warm snse of job satisfaction when they find what they're looking for. One woman, after I helped her find books on canaries for her grandchildren, returned later that day with a plate of cupcakes for the staff. Te only problem with these people is that they tend to be s nice that they don't want to interrupt what you're doing, so I rarely get to speak to them.
The Oblivious - Safest when seated, otherwise they stumble around completely unaware of their surroundings. Some of them are Readwalkers who, well, read while they walk. I've had a couple of them collide with my trolley when it's been sticking out into an aisle.
Wanderers - I've seen people walk around the library and stare at the shelves dumbfounded for half an hour, because they don't know where to look. They rarely ask for directions, probably because they feel stupid enough already. I feel bad about leaving them there, but I'm always busy doing something else.
Collectors - These people, once they find out what section they're after, grab every book they can find on a topic. They take those books to one of the carrels, flick through them then leave them all lying around for me to pick up after them. How annoying.
Displayers - I've seen documentaries where lions have hunted down zebras and mutilated them, leaving a bloodied carcass strewn across the dusty savannah. These people do much the same to piles of books, especially in narrow aisles. Major trolley hazard.
Seekers - They know all too well how to use the catalogue terminals, but they never leave them, prepared to sit there for hours until they've found everything they want. If they're not on the catalogues they're coming up to you with a list full of catalogue references, asking you to pinpoint their locations. They often presume to know more than you about the library layout.
Inquisitors - Question after question after question. The temptation to slap them is hard to resist. I once made the mistake of trying to show one man how to use the catalogue. Forty minutes later I was still explaining how to use the advance search, having made little headway. These people are usually elderly technophobes or parents 'helping' their kids research a school project.
Taskmasters - This last group is by far the most irritating. They have no qualms about interrupting you because they believe the world revolves around them. If you don't fulfil their every demand they threaten to inform our superior of your insolence. They often show little respect for privacy or property. One Taskmaster I was trying to appease snatched a book from the hands of a Readwalker, flcked through it quickly then rammed it into the wrong spot on a nearby shelf.
If you can think of any I've left out let me know. Libraries - they're a crazy world.
Monday, December 3, 2007
#17 Literacy
Dear diary,
It's so good to see the library back up and running. A lot of the patrons have complained that it was closed for so long, but that's just a sign they were worried about us. It's a great boon to us staff because we don't have to shelf-read or weed the collection because they've already been done.
I was a bit worried that people would be anxious to know exactly what happened, so I took the initiative of making small hand-outs to explain about the system crash. They weren't received well by anyone else, though. I left them at the front counter, and as I was walking off to shelve Pepper called me back. She said she couldn't hand them out because they weren't library-issue and besides, my spelling was horrible.
Here's the note:
"Wear sorry four the system brake down, butt it can-knot bee helped. Please torque two the staff iff yew have any problems with you're card ore bor-road items."
Damn spellcheck, it always does this. I knew I shouldn't've changed the setting to 'Homonym'. It's bad enough when it Americanizes everything. Look, it's doing it again!
Later on some police came into the library. They approached me in the shelves asking to speak to the Head Librarian. I took them to the staffroom, where Boudecia was having her short lunch break, then went back to what I was doing. An hour later Pepper dinged the bell for assistance as Sylvia was helping someone else and the patrons were three-deep at the counter. Boudecia didn't appear so I went to find her, but she was gone. The owl was missing from its cage on her desk too.
I wonder if the police took her in for questioning about the library being closed. I wonder if she knows more than she's letting on. I wonder why the owl's gone. I wonder if I'm thinking about this to much.
It's so good to see the library back up and running. A lot of the patrons have complained that it was closed for so long, but that's just a sign they were worried about us. It's a great boon to us staff because we don't have to shelf-read or weed the collection because they've already been done.
I was a bit worried that people would be anxious to know exactly what happened, so I took the initiative of making small hand-outs to explain about the system crash. They weren't received well by anyone else, though. I left them at the front counter, and as I was walking off to shelve Pepper called me back. She said she couldn't hand them out because they weren't library-issue and besides, my spelling was horrible.
Here's the note:
"Wear sorry four the system brake down, butt it can-knot bee helped. Please torque two the staff iff yew have any problems with you're card ore bor-road items."
Damn spellcheck, it always does this. I knew I shouldn't've changed the setting to 'Homonym'. It's bad enough when it Americanizes everything. Look, it's doing it again!
Later on some police came into the library. They approached me in the shelves asking to speak to the Head Librarian. I took them to the staffroom, where Boudecia was having her short lunch break, then went back to what I was doing. An hour later Pepper dinged the bell for assistance as Sylvia was helping someone else and the patrons were three-deep at the counter. Boudecia didn't appear so I went to find her, but she was gone. The owl was missing from its cage on her desk too.
I wonder if the police took her in for questioning about the library being closed. I wonder if she knows more than she's letting on. I wonder why the owl's gone. I wonder if I'm thinking about this to much.
Friday, November 30, 2007
#16 Restoration
Dear diary,
The library was closed to the public for four days. The windows have been boarded up, the phonelines down. Some disbelievers said that it will never reopen. But they were wrong. For inside the library we were busy repairing the damage that had been done. We worked day and night to get the library back to normal. Here are the notes I kept on our progress.
Tuesday, 5am
I was at home Monday night tending to my wounds when I heard a knock at he door. I wondered who would be calling by at midnight. It was Talia, dressed in a black suit and wearing dark sunglasses. Silently she motioned to the open passenger-side door of her car. I got in and she handed me a document. I read it while she drove, and when I'd finished I looked up at her and mouthed, "Emergency Shelving Procedures?"
We were the last to arrive at the back carpark of the library. Boudecia opened the door for us and we entered. The backroom had been spared from most of the damage. We slowly and silently made our way through the library to the front desk, stepping gingerly over fallen chairs and destoyed books. Pepper whimpered when she saw the state of the Junior section, the turrets we'd made less than a week ago now demolished.
Ernesto remained at the front desk, cradling his broken arm while helping Sylvia and I fix the downed in-house system. The other six went around the library collecting whatever misplaced books and other items they could find. I'm taking my break now, but they're all still out there salvaging what they can. I'll write more later.
Tuesday, 8:30pm
I'm at home now, just finishing dinner and waiting another 20 minutes before I have to get back to work. Boudecia swore us to secrecy about our mission, so I haven't told my parents anything. It's been such a busy day. Sylvia and I managed to fix the in-house system, and slowly but surely Ernesto got the computers to come back on. That was at 4pm. We then restored the shelves to their proper places, and now we've got what Goldie called the "skeleton of the library".
Wednesday, 4pm
The sorting process is taking FOREVER and I just want to die! We've each taken a pile and been assorted to our own collections. Pepper gets Junior, TJ has Teenage, all DVDs and videos go to Sylvia, Bron controls Community Languages, Talia's taken Magazines, Biographies are Ernesto's, Goldie monopolises Paperbacks, Boudecia warrants Large Print, and any Fiction is my realm. We pass on anything misplaced to the right person, and Non-Fiction and Reference are thrown into a massive pile for later.
Sounds simple in theory, but not quite so in practice. Goldie and I have been swapping back and forth because it seems like no-one can tell the difference between Fiction and Paperback. It gets really frustrating when you finally complete a tier full of books only to realise half of them aren't meant to be there. I do it all the time accidentally when I normally shelve, but now it's really getting to me.
Thursday, 6pm
Once all respective sections had been finished we all moved on to on-Fiction. Morale was pretty low as we'd had to throw ot so many books which had been damaged. TJ farewelled any John Marsdens and Bron had to saya rueful goodbye to some Harry Potters in both French and Chinese, but the saddest thing was when I found Talia crying over the destruction of all the Rolling Stones. Boudecia, in a rare contradiction of OHS procedures, lit a funeral pyre for them in a wastepaper basket inside the library.
Then Pepper devised a plan to cheer us up. She got each of us "young ones" (i.e. those under thirty) to grab a trolley and race to shelve a part of Non-Fiction. She took bets from everyone on who would win out of myself, Talia, TJ and Sylvia. The four of us stood ready at the starting line as Bron stepped out with a checkered flag. She waved, and we were off.
I was the first to reach my destination at 613. I began shelving like I've neer shelved before. I could see TJ hurrying to catch up to me at 745 but he was out of practice. He used to be a shelver but had been out of practice since being promoted to library officer. When I completed my tier I ran back to the fornt desk for my second load, only to see Talia running off with hers. It turned out to be a very close match, with the two of us neck and neck right up until the very end before she got ahead.
Friday, 3pm
It's finally over. Boudecia was given the honour of placing the last book on the shelf, a symbolic gesture as meaningful as cutting the red tape. It was a bit of an anticlimax as we were all so exhausted and just wanted to go home. When I did get home I collapsed on my bed and slept for hours. I think I'll call in sick tomorrow - I've done enough overtime to make up for it. Good night.
The library was closed to the public for four days. The windows have been boarded up, the phonelines down. Some disbelievers said that it will never reopen. But they were wrong. For inside the library we were busy repairing the damage that had been done. We worked day and night to get the library back to normal. Here are the notes I kept on our progress.
Tuesday, 5am
I was at home Monday night tending to my wounds when I heard a knock at he door. I wondered who would be calling by at midnight. It was Talia, dressed in a black suit and wearing dark sunglasses. Silently she motioned to the open passenger-side door of her car. I got in and she handed me a document. I read it while she drove, and when I'd finished I looked up at her and mouthed, "Emergency Shelving Procedures?"
We were the last to arrive at the back carpark of the library. Boudecia opened the door for us and we entered. The backroom had been spared from most of the damage. We slowly and silently made our way through the library to the front desk, stepping gingerly over fallen chairs and destoyed books. Pepper whimpered when she saw the state of the Junior section, the turrets we'd made less than a week ago now demolished.
Ernesto remained at the front desk, cradling his broken arm while helping Sylvia and I fix the downed in-house system. The other six went around the library collecting whatever misplaced books and other items they could find. I'm taking my break now, but they're all still out there salvaging what they can. I'll write more later.
Tuesday, 8:30pm
I'm at home now, just finishing dinner and waiting another 20 minutes before I have to get back to work. Boudecia swore us to secrecy about our mission, so I haven't told my parents anything. It's been such a busy day. Sylvia and I managed to fix the in-house system, and slowly but surely Ernesto got the computers to come back on. That was at 4pm. We then restored the shelves to their proper places, and now we've got what Goldie called the "skeleton of the library".
Wednesday, 4pm
The sorting process is taking FOREVER and I just want to die! We've each taken a pile and been assorted to our own collections. Pepper gets Junior, TJ has Teenage, all DVDs and videos go to Sylvia, Bron controls Community Languages, Talia's taken Magazines, Biographies are Ernesto's, Goldie monopolises Paperbacks, Boudecia warrants Large Print, and any Fiction is my realm. We pass on anything misplaced to the right person, and Non-Fiction and Reference are thrown into a massive pile for later.
Sounds simple in theory, but not quite so in practice. Goldie and I have been swapping back and forth because it seems like no-one can tell the difference between Fiction and Paperback. It gets really frustrating when you finally complete a tier full of books only to realise half of them aren't meant to be there. I do it all the time accidentally when I normally shelve, but now it's really getting to me.
Thursday, 6pm
Once all respective sections had been finished we all moved on to on-Fiction. Morale was pretty low as we'd had to throw ot so many books which had been damaged. TJ farewelled any John Marsdens and Bron had to saya rueful goodbye to some Harry Potters in both French and Chinese, but the saddest thing was when I found Talia crying over the destruction of all the Rolling Stones. Boudecia, in a rare contradiction of OHS procedures, lit a funeral pyre for them in a wastepaper basket inside the library.
Then Pepper devised a plan to cheer us up. She got each of us "young ones" (i.e. those under thirty) to grab a trolley and race to shelve a part of Non-Fiction. She took bets from everyone on who would win out of myself, Talia, TJ and Sylvia. The four of us stood ready at the starting line as Bron stepped out with a checkered flag. She waved, and we were off.
I was the first to reach my destination at 613. I began shelving like I've neer shelved before. I could see TJ hurrying to catch up to me at 745 but he was out of practice. He used to be a shelver but had been out of practice since being promoted to library officer. When I completed my tier I ran back to the fornt desk for my second load, only to see Talia running off with hers. It turned out to be a very close match, with the two of us neck and neck right up until the very end before she got ahead.
Friday, 3pm
It's finally over. Boudecia was given the honour of placing the last book on the shelf, a symbolic gesture as meaningful as cutting the red tape. It was a bit of an anticlimax as we were all so exhausted and just wanted to go home. When I did get home I collapsed on my bed and slept for hours. I think I'll call in sick tomorrow - I've done enough overtime to make up for it. Good night.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
#15 Special character bios - Bron, Sylvia & Goldie
It may be some time before the library system comes back up (uncontrollable, these things), so let's take another reprieve from the storyline to look at some more of the characters. Thistime we have three women who were assigned names purely because I like cycles and side-references. In no particular order - though Olympic medallists beg to differ - I present to you Bron, Sylvia and Goldie.
BRON
Bronwyn (40) is the Community Liaison Librarian an also the most reasonable person working in the library. She speaks several languages and single-handed governs the Community Languages section. She has many hobbies which span just about every subject under the sun, and then some. Bron is moderate in the extreme, never expressing a one-sided opinion. Her ability to see every side of an argument makes her the ultimate mediator, although it also means she doesn't hold strong opinions and may appear apathetic on occasions. She sees the library as a meeting place for peope from all wals of life, where they can seek out all kinds of information. Not that she believes this too strongly, mind you.
SYLVIA
The library's resident goth/emo/techno chick, Sylvia (25) is the library tech in charge of all Av material. She enjoys listening to heavy metal music, dressing-up for Cosplay and practising Wicca in her spare time. Sylvia's typical attire involves heavy make-up, radical dresses (she likes the black leather one best) and dyed hair that spikes out every which way. While growing up in Japan Sylvia became obsessed with the striking female leads in anime shows and movies, and has adopted "dress to impress" as her personal motto. She loves working in a public library because she loves watching movies without having to pay for them. The fact that she has never read a book in her life doesn't seem to really bother her at all.
GOLDIE
Goldie (55) is a mother of four from a devout Christian background, and also the Acqusitions Librarian. She likes everything to be neat and tidy; her desk is so spotless you could eat your dinner off it (though she would remind you that no food is permitted in the library, thank you very much). Her jewellery makes her radiate in the right light, and she wears it proudly. Those who are on her good side can bathe in the warmth of her luminescent glow, while those on her bad side can burn to a cinder. Goldie holds the belief that the library should be kept in strict order for easy use, and will go to any lengths necessary to maintain that order.
***All characters in this story have been given their names for a reason. The shelvers - Jay and Talia (and Shannon) - are all named after former real-life shelvers, while the rest of the staff all derive their names from somethign relating to their personality.
-The author
BRON
Bronwyn (40) is the Community Liaison Librarian an also the most reasonable person working in the library. She speaks several languages and single-handed governs the Community Languages section. She has many hobbies which span just about every subject under the sun, and then some. Bron is moderate in the extreme, never expressing a one-sided opinion. Her ability to see every side of an argument makes her the ultimate mediator, although it also means she doesn't hold strong opinions and may appear apathetic on occasions. She sees the library as a meeting place for peope from all wals of life, where they can seek out all kinds of information. Not that she believes this too strongly, mind you.
SYLVIA
The library's resident goth/emo/techno chick, Sylvia (25) is the library tech in charge of all Av material. She enjoys listening to heavy metal music, dressing-up for Cosplay and practising Wicca in her spare time. Sylvia's typical attire involves heavy make-up, radical dresses (she likes the black leather one best) and dyed hair that spikes out every which way. While growing up in Japan Sylvia became obsessed with the striking female leads in anime shows and movies, and has adopted "dress to impress" as her personal motto. She loves working in a public library because she loves watching movies without having to pay for them. The fact that she has never read a book in her life doesn't seem to really bother her at all.
GOLDIE
Goldie (55) is a mother of four from a devout Christian background, and also the Acqusitions Librarian. She likes everything to be neat and tidy; her desk is so spotless you could eat your dinner off it (though she would remind you that no food is permitted in the library, thank you very much). Her jewellery makes her radiate in the right light, and she wears it proudly. Those who are on her good side can bathe in the warmth of her luminescent glow, while those on her bad side can burn to a cinder. Goldie holds the belief that the library should be kept in strict order for easy use, and will go to any lengths necessary to maintain that order.
***All characters in this story have been given their names for a reason. The shelvers - Jay and Talia (and Shannon) - are all named after former real-life shelvers, while the rest of the staff all derive their names from somethign relating to their personality.
-The author
Monday, November 26, 2007
#14 Disaster, part 2
(Previously, in Shelver Explorer: The poltergeist warns me that the library system will crash. I manage to stop the library from self-destructing, but witness the devastation caused by system failure. The story picks up after I am knocked unconscious in the line of duty...)
I awoke groggily to find the front desk empty. Books scattered the floor, and the check-in computer lay broken on the carpet. After a moment my hearing returned. Someone's wailing was cut short by the sound of a book snapping shut. I stumbled to my feet. Drunkenly I wobbled forward, grasping a trolley for support. The exit was just a few metres away, but instead I took the trolley and sped in the direction of the scream.
Gathering momentum I leapt onto the trolley, a heavy tome in each hand for balance. I leaned and steered through Fiction. I could hear murmuring from the back of the library. As I passed alng the Reference aisles I caught a glimpse of a leg sticking out from under a carrel. I jumped off the trolley and dashed over. It was the guy from Teenage who'd given me the greasie, and he was trapped under a fallen carrel. I positioned my feet, thought back to the OHS training I did on my first day, and hefted the desk up. It was surprisingly heavy - either my muscles had slackened because I had just been knocked out, or I'm really that weak.
I slung his arm over my shoulder and picked him up, supporting his weight on mine. We stumbled over like a three-legged race entrant, over to my trolley which had burst through the Local History room doors. I loaded the guy onto the trolley and wheeled it out of the room. In the meantime a bookcase had fallen down and was blocking our path. The only direction we could take was through Teenage.
It was a minefield. Books lay with their spines bent out of shape. A folio lay on its back, pages flapping lifelessly as the fan above rotated wildly. I found a Dan Brown, impaled by a student's protractor. Nobody would read this book again. I closed its cover ceremoniously. It was then that I remembered I still had the keycard, and the staffroom lay just ten metres away. The only obstacle was the fan, which had gathered force and was spinning at a dangerous Mach 2. With a heavy sigh I hefted the Dan Brown at the fan. It connected with one of the propellors, sending the fan jolting chaotically and slowing it down. I charged with my faithful trolley towards the door and let us in.
Ernesto greeted me and wrapped me up in a fire blanket. I collapsed onto a chair and let him do the talking. He said Goldie had led most of the patrons out the front exit, and that he'd been wandering around searching for survivors. He hadn't seen me take a hit and he apologised deeply. He picked up the other guy, who had slipped back into unconsciousness, and together we walked out the back way. When I opened the rear door Sylvia was there, back from her lunch break.
"Wow Jay, you look really beaten. Did I miss anything exciting?"
I awoke groggily to find the front desk empty. Books scattered the floor, and the check-in computer lay broken on the carpet. After a moment my hearing returned. Someone's wailing was cut short by the sound of a book snapping shut. I stumbled to my feet. Drunkenly I wobbled forward, grasping a trolley for support. The exit was just a few metres away, but instead I took the trolley and sped in the direction of the scream.
Gathering momentum I leapt onto the trolley, a heavy tome in each hand for balance. I leaned and steered through Fiction. I could hear murmuring from the back of the library. As I passed alng the Reference aisles I caught a glimpse of a leg sticking out from under a carrel. I jumped off the trolley and dashed over. It was the guy from Teenage who'd given me the greasie, and he was trapped under a fallen carrel. I positioned my feet, thought back to the OHS training I did on my first day, and hefted the desk up. It was surprisingly heavy - either my muscles had slackened because I had just been knocked out, or I'm really that weak.
I slung his arm over my shoulder and picked him up, supporting his weight on mine. We stumbled over like a three-legged race entrant, over to my trolley which had burst through the Local History room doors. I loaded the guy onto the trolley and wheeled it out of the room. In the meantime a bookcase had fallen down and was blocking our path. The only direction we could take was through Teenage.
It was a minefield. Books lay with their spines bent out of shape. A folio lay on its back, pages flapping lifelessly as the fan above rotated wildly. I found a Dan Brown, impaled by a student's protractor. Nobody would read this book again. I closed its cover ceremoniously. It was then that I remembered I still had the keycard, and the staffroom lay just ten metres away. The only obstacle was the fan, which had gathered force and was spinning at a dangerous Mach 2. With a heavy sigh I hefted the Dan Brown at the fan. It connected with one of the propellors, sending the fan jolting chaotically and slowing it down. I charged with my faithful trolley towards the door and let us in.
Ernesto greeted me and wrapped me up in a fire blanket. I collapsed onto a chair and let him do the talking. He said Goldie had led most of the patrons out the front exit, and that he'd been wandering around searching for survivors. He hadn't seen me take a hit and he apologised deeply. He picked up the other guy, who had slipped back into unconsciousness, and together we walked out the back way. When I opened the rear door Sylvia was there, back from her lunch break.
"Wow Jay, you look really beaten. Did I miss anything exciting?"
#13 Disaster, part 1
Dear diary,
My shift today began like any other. I came into the library, said hi whoever was on desk (Goldie), and grabbed the keycard to get into the staffroom. Once there I walked past Boudecia's desk, produced some scraps of food for the caged owl that lives on her desk and filled out my timesheet. The owl was really jittery but I didn't think anything of it at the time.
As I exited the staffroom I noticed some books lying on the floor in Teenage. Trolleyless, I scooped them up in my arms. Then they jumped out. They lay on the floor, spine up, with a cryptic message:
T SYS, T EMS, T IME, T OBE, T RAY
I had to read it four times out loud before it made any sense. "Nice try, but you don't scare me," I proclaimed out loud. A guy sitting in a nearby beanbag stared at me before getting up and moving away. The beanbag started shifting, and three books spewed out of one of the folds.
T RUS, T MES, T UPD
Honestly, I thought the poltergeist was just joking, as ethereal spirits are wont to do, so I ignored the messages and walked back to the desk to get my trolley. Goldie was calling out goodbye to someone who'd just gone out the door. Then, a zzzZAPppp sound. We both looked at each other, then slowly turned our heads towards the check-out computer. Sparks were, well, sparking from it. The loudspeaker, which s normally reserved for telling people the library is closing, crackled out the following message monotonously:
THIS LIBRARY WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TEN SECONDS.
Without wasting a moment I ran forward and vaulted over the counter. I dropped to my knees and ducked underneath to pull out the plug. Goldie threw me her glove - she says she wears them because you never know where patrons' hands have been - and I donned it for the task ahead. I grabbed a picture book someone had been wanting to borrow, curled it into a stick-shape and bashed at the socket until the plug came out.
That was only the beginning. All the other computers displayed the same screen: THE SYSTEM HAS GONE DOWN. The public access terminals all went blank. The man Ernesto had been serving at the desk swore and slapped the side of the computer, only to receive a static shock that sent him flyng backwards. A woman on the catalogue terminal squealed and ran at the glass window in terror. It shattered on impact, glass shards cascading on the footpath and around her. The system was down - the panic was global.
Suddenly the nearest Large Print shelf began to tilt menacingly over a frightened woman cowering in a comfy armchair besdie it. Just before it came down on her, Ernesto ran heroically and pulled her chair to safety before the shelf collapsed on top of the armchair. Goldie screamed and began rummaging through a draw. A ceiling light flickered on and off before crashing to the ground. The display cabinet doors swung open wildly, smacking nearby victims. Books were shooting off shelves and aiming for anyone.
Goldie emerged triumphant with a whistle in her hand. She blew as hard as she could. The noise was deafening. As the pandemonium paused momentarily she called for everyone to follow her in an orderly fashion. A rogue thesaurus spung off the reference trolley and flew at her, trying to silence the flagbearer. I leapt in the way and thne, for the second time in my short career, the world went black.
TO BE CONTINUED...
My shift today began like any other. I came into the library, said hi whoever was on desk (Goldie), and grabbed the keycard to get into the staffroom. Once there I walked past Boudecia's desk, produced some scraps of food for the caged owl that lives on her desk and filled out my timesheet. The owl was really jittery but I didn't think anything of it at the time.
As I exited the staffroom I noticed some books lying on the floor in Teenage. Trolleyless, I scooped them up in my arms. Then they jumped out. They lay on the floor, spine up, with a cryptic message:
T SYS, T EMS, T IME, T OBE, T RAY
I had to read it four times out loud before it made any sense. "Nice try, but you don't scare me," I proclaimed out loud. A guy sitting in a nearby beanbag stared at me before getting up and moving away. The beanbag started shifting, and three books spewed out of one of the folds.
T RUS, T MES, T UPD
Honestly, I thought the poltergeist was just joking, as ethereal spirits are wont to do, so I ignored the messages and walked back to the desk to get my trolley. Goldie was calling out goodbye to someone who'd just gone out the door. Then, a zzzZAPppp sound. We both looked at each other, then slowly turned our heads towards the check-out computer. Sparks were, well, sparking from it. The loudspeaker, which s normally reserved for telling people the library is closing, crackled out the following message monotonously:
THIS LIBRARY WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TEN SECONDS.
Without wasting a moment I ran forward and vaulted over the counter. I dropped to my knees and ducked underneath to pull out the plug. Goldie threw me her glove - she says she wears them because you never know where patrons' hands have been - and I donned it for the task ahead. I grabbed a picture book someone had been wanting to borrow, curled it into a stick-shape and bashed at the socket until the plug came out.
That was only the beginning. All the other computers displayed the same screen: THE SYSTEM HAS GONE DOWN. The public access terminals all went blank. The man Ernesto had been serving at the desk swore and slapped the side of the computer, only to receive a static shock that sent him flyng backwards. A woman on the catalogue terminal squealed and ran at the glass window in terror. It shattered on impact, glass shards cascading on the footpath and around her. The system was down - the panic was global.
Suddenly the nearest Large Print shelf began to tilt menacingly over a frightened woman cowering in a comfy armchair besdie it. Just before it came down on her, Ernesto ran heroically and pulled her chair to safety before the shelf collapsed on top of the armchair. Goldie screamed and began rummaging through a draw. A ceiling light flickered on and off before crashing to the ground. The display cabinet doors swung open wildly, smacking nearby victims. Books were shooting off shelves and aiming for anyone.
Goldie emerged triumphant with a whistle in her hand. She blew as hard as she could. The noise was deafening. As the pandemonium paused momentarily she called for everyone to follow her in an orderly fashion. A rogue thesaurus spung off the reference trolley and flew at her, trying to silence the flagbearer. I leapt in the way and thne, for the second time in my short career, the world went black.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
#12 Royalty
Dear diary,
There was absolutely nothing to shelve in the library today. Everything had already been done in the morning, and the carrels were empty of students and book debris. Bron got me to shelf-read for the first half hour. That's thirty minutes of my life I will never get back. Shelf-reading is one of those ugly tasks which someone has to do, like garbage removal or telemarketing. I don't mind it because I can slip into a daydream, often returning to consciousness several stacks later and finding everything in perfect order.
But I was glad when after a while Bron came to join me. She said that she'd get the rest of the staff to come do some shelf-reading if things stayed like this. Five minutes later TJ wandered over and pulled up a stool without a word. Pepper came to chat as well because she was bored. I joked that with everyone here, who was at the front desk. They all laughed then stopped awkwardly, and Bron sprinted off to the counter.
After shelf-reading Pepper got me to hang up some castle-themed decorations in Junior for storytime that afternoon. As there was still no shelving to do we were able to do a bit more setting-up than usual. Pepper's original idea was to have little paper cutouts of crowns and fairytale castles adorning the walls, but she scrapped that idea and went or something a bit more creative. When she pulled out the blueprints of her masterpiece I knew we were in for a long haul.
Two hours later, parents beinging their littlies to storytime were confronted by the coolest castle ever built inside a library. The papier mache turrets which lined the red carpet walkway stretched all the way out to the catalogue terminals. Pot-plants dotted the spaces between the turrets, and we'd created a 'pond' by capsizing a blue table, covering the underside with glad-wrap and placing a rubber duck on top.
I was dressed as a courtier and met the excited children and bewildered parents at the entranceway. I led them down the carpeted avenue, pointing out the scenic features including TJ, who was dressed in knight's armour which he'd hired from the costume shop down the road. The carpet spilled onto the storytime mat where Peper sat dressed as a princess. She bade everyone sit down (not possible for TJ) then began reading the stories.
The applause at the end was tremendous. We did three curtain calls - which is prety impressive when you don't have a curtain - and Pepper was presented with a bouquet of roses. I've never seen anyone beam so much. After the library'd closed TJ replayed us what he'd filmed of the day, with Pepper interrupting every now and then for screen edits. It was a really good day after all, so good that I didn't realise until I'd gotten home that I'd worked for two hours unpaid. I don't really care though; it was fun!
There was absolutely nothing to shelve in the library today. Everything had already been done in the morning, and the carrels were empty of students and book debris. Bron got me to shelf-read for the first half hour. That's thirty minutes of my life I will never get back. Shelf-reading is one of those ugly tasks which someone has to do, like garbage removal or telemarketing. I don't mind it because I can slip into a daydream, often returning to consciousness several stacks later and finding everything in perfect order.
But I was glad when after a while Bron came to join me. She said that she'd get the rest of the staff to come do some shelf-reading if things stayed like this. Five minutes later TJ wandered over and pulled up a stool without a word. Pepper came to chat as well because she was bored. I joked that with everyone here, who was at the front desk. They all laughed then stopped awkwardly, and Bron sprinted off to the counter.
After shelf-reading Pepper got me to hang up some castle-themed decorations in Junior for storytime that afternoon. As there was still no shelving to do we were able to do a bit more setting-up than usual. Pepper's original idea was to have little paper cutouts of crowns and fairytale castles adorning the walls, but she scrapped that idea and went or something a bit more creative. When she pulled out the blueprints of her masterpiece I knew we were in for a long haul.
Two hours later, parents beinging their littlies to storytime were confronted by the coolest castle ever built inside a library. The papier mache turrets which lined the red carpet walkway stretched all the way out to the catalogue terminals. Pot-plants dotted the spaces between the turrets, and we'd created a 'pond' by capsizing a blue table, covering the underside with glad-wrap and placing a rubber duck on top.
I was dressed as a courtier and met the excited children and bewildered parents at the entranceway. I led them down the carpeted avenue, pointing out the scenic features including TJ, who was dressed in knight's armour which he'd hired from the costume shop down the road. The carpet spilled onto the storytime mat where Peper sat dressed as a princess. She bade everyone sit down (not possible for TJ) then began reading the stories.
The applause at the end was tremendous. We did three curtain calls - which is prety impressive when you don't have a curtain - and Pepper was presented with a bouquet of roses. I've never seen anyone beam so much. After the library'd closed TJ replayed us what he'd filmed of the day, with Pepper interrupting every now and then for screen edits. It was a really good day after all, so good that I didn't realise until I'd gotten home that I'd worked for two hours unpaid. I don't really care though; it was fun!
Monday, November 19, 2007
#11 Ignored
Dear diary,
It's been on my mind for so long that I couldn't hold it in any more. As I was shelving with Talia yesterday I suddenly lurted out that I'd been visited by a poltergeist in the library, had she? She paused immediately, her foot in mid-step, and slowly turned to face me. She nodded slowly in agreement, a bewildered look in her eyes.
Before I could say any more Talia grabbed my arm and dragged me to the Local History room. SHe started shelf-reading and told me to do the same so it would look like we were working. I did. For the next ten minutes we talked about the poltergeist. It tuns out she's met it too, once last fortnight and again three days ago. It didn't do anything serious, just making books float and telling her it'd be back. I told her I'd tried to talk to ther other staff about it but they either ignored me or thought I was crazy. When I'd told Ernesto he gave me a weird look and suggested I have some water, while Pepper just patted my head and smiled like I was an idiot.
It was good to have someone who understod and believed me for a change. I get the feeling many of the other staff tolerate me being there and that's it. It really showed when former shelver Shannon came into the library later that day. I was at the front desk re-ordering the non-fiction trolley (somebody had ordered it backwards from right to left) when the front doors opened and she came in in her wheelchair. I didn't know who she was, but everyone else at the desk did and went straight over to her.
Pepper rushed forward to give her a hug, almost knocking me over in the process. Ernesto came over and the three of them started talking like old friends, ignoring the amassing queue at the front counter. One man came up and asked where he could find books on gardening. Without turning his head, Ernesto pointed directly towards 635 in Non-Fiction and said, "Jay". I led the man over, moving aside to let Talia through as she ran to say hi to Shannon.
When I returned the staff were standing around talking at the front desk while Shannon signed autographs for patrons. I joined the quickly growing line. When it was my turn I introduced myself as the new shelver, and jokingly said I was her replacement. he looks of contempt I received from the staff and patrons was enough to tell me I'd made a mistake. Shannon rolled her eyes and signed a bookmark for me. For the rest of the shift Ernesto bossed me about while Talia refused to talk to me. I only made a little joke, didn't I?
It's been on my mind for so long that I couldn't hold it in any more. As I was shelving with Talia yesterday I suddenly lurted out that I'd been visited by a poltergeist in the library, had she? She paused immediately, her foot in mid-step, and slowly turned to face me. She nodded slowly in agreement, a bewildered look in her eyes.
Before I could say any more Talia grabbed my arm and dragged me to the Local History room. SHe started shelf-reading and told me to do the same so it would look like we were working. I did. For the next ten minutes we talked about the poltergeist. It tuns out she's met it too, once last fortnight and again three days ago. It didn't do anything serious, just making books float and telling her it'd be back. I told her I'd tried to talk to ther other staff about it but they either ignored me or thought I was crazy. When I'd told Ernesto he gave me a weird look and suggested I have some water, while Pepper just patted my head and smiled like I was an idiot.
It was good to have someone who understod and believed me for a change. I get the feeling many of the other staff tolerate me being there and that's it. It really showed when former shelver Shannon came into the library later that day. I was at the front desk re-ordering the non-fiction trolley (somebody had ordered it backwards from right to left) when the front doors opened and she came in in her wheelchair. I didn't know who she was, but everyone else at the desk did and went straight over to her.
Pepper rushed forward to give her a hug, almost knocking me over in the process. Ernesto came over and the three of them started talking like old friends, ignoring the amassing queue at the front counter. One man came up and asked where he could find books on gardening. Without turning his head, Ernesto pointed directly towards 635 in Non-Fiction and said, "Jay". I led the man over, moving aside to let Talia through as she ran to say hi to Shannon.
When I returned the staff were standing around talking at the front desk while Shannon signed autographs for patrons. I joined the quickly growing line. When it was my turn I introduced myself as the new shelver, and jokingly said I was her replacement. he looks of contempt I received from the staff and patrons was enough to tell me I'd made a mistake. Shannon rolled her eyes and signed a bookmark for me. For the rest of the shift Ernesto bossed me about while Talia refused to talk to me. I only made a little joke, didn't I?
Friday, November 16, 2007
#10 Special character bios - Jay, Talia & Boudecia
Let's take a short interlude here and take a step back form the story of Shelver Explorer. I believe that in order to fully understand what goes on inside a library you must understand the people who work in it. They shape an in turn and shaped by the microcosmic forces which manifest themselves in the structure, ambience, clientelle and catalogue within the library. There are a umber of different types of people who use and work in the library, and this story attempts to highlight a few of those types, albeit extreme examples. And so without further ado, here are some brief character biographies for three of the staff of this fictional library.
JAY
Jay (18) is a new shelver at the unnamed fictional library and also the story's protagonist. He tells the story of his adventures in his new and exciting workplace in diary format for one basic reason - he is a natural storyteller. He is at his best when he is engaging in narrative dialogue. This causes him some conflict as his other major passion in life - software engineering - is the complete opposite in that it doesn't allow him to express his talents in narration.
Jay is over the moon when he is finally accepted to come to work in a library. He begins working as a shelver, the owest link in the food chain, and has dreams of ascending to the position of head librarian, a position which he perceives to be the pinnacle of his career. However, as he begins to find out what working in a library is really like he is somewhat taken aback, causing him to doubt his prior intentions. He finds himself falling into the role of observer as he passively watches the events wthin the library unfurl around him. For the moment, though, he is content to sit back and absorb as much as he can.
TALIA
Talia (21) is the Senior Shelver at the library, although as there are only two shelvers this title is fairly irrelevant. She has been working in the library for five years and has no intention of climbing the ranks. To her the library is a source of information on a myriad topics, her favourite being political science. She enjoys the prospects of coming across new books which will ultimatly help her in her studies. Talia researches voraciously any topics which inspire her so that she can give her educated opinion, which she does frequently whetehr the other person is
interested or not.
BOUDECIA
Boudecia (age unknown, no-one has dared to ask her) is the head librarian, a title she wields like an iron greatsword. She dislikes anything which she sees as inefficient, such as a disorganised desk or a slack shelver. To her the concept of such things is too impractical to imagine, thus it cannot exist in her world. She does not discriminate; everyone and everything is flawed in some way and must be corrected. Boudecia rarely hesitates, believing indecision to be a waste of time and will treat any problem like a Gordian Knot, striking it at its core.
***For the purpose of this story I have made the conscious effort to use only stock characters: characters who act in accordance with particular stereotyped behaviours. This not only makes for an interesting set of characters, but also protects me from being attacked by fellow staff members for ridiculing them. There are one or two charaters who originally resembled people I know, so I have endeavoured to differentiate fiction from the reality. Enjoy, and please don't sue.
-The author
JAY
Jay (18) is a new shelver at the unnamed fictional library and also the story's protagonist. He tells the story of his adventures in his new and exciting workplace in diary format for one basic reason - he is a natural storyteller. He is at his best when he is engaging in narrative dialogue. This causes him some conflict as his other major passion in life - software engineering - is the complete opposite in that it doesn't allow him to express his talents in narration.
Jay is over the moon when he is finally accepted to come to work in a library. He begins working as a shelver, the owest link in the food chain, and has dreams of ascending to the position of head librarian, a position which he perceives to be the pinnacle of his career. However, as he begins to find out what working in a library is really like he is somewhat taken aback, causing him to doubt his prior intentions. He finds himself falling into the role of observer as he passively watches the events wthin the library unfurl around him. For the moment, though, he is content to sit back and absorb as much as he can.
TALIA
Talia (21) is the Senior Shelver at the library, although as there are only two shelvers this title is fairly irrelevant. She has been working in the library for five years and has no intention of climbing the ranks. To her the library is a source of information on a myriad topics, her favourite being political science. She enjoys the prospects of coming across new books which will ultimatly help her in her studies. Talia researches voraciously any topics which inspire her so that she can give her educated opinion, which she does frequently whetehr the other person is
interested or not.
BOUDECIA
Boudecia (age unknown, no-one has dared to ask her) is the head librarian, a title she wields like an iron greatsword. She dislikes anything which she sees as inefficient, such as a disorganised desk or a slack shelver. To her the concept of such things is too impractical to imagine, thus it cannot exist in her world. She does not discriminate; everyone and everything is flawed in some way and must be corrected. Boudecia rarely hesitates, believing indecision to be a waste of time and will treat any problem like a Gordian Knot, striking it at its core.
***For the purpose of this story I have made the conscious effort to use only stock characters: characters who act in accordance with particular stereotyped behaviours. This not only makes for an interesting set of characters, but also protects me from being attacked by fellow staff members for ridiculing them. There are one or two charaters who originally resembled people I know, so I have endeavoured to differentiate fiction from the reality. Enjoy, and please don't sue.
-The author
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
#9 Rules
Dear diary,
I was off in the shelves at work today, when I heard a mobile start ringing from the next aisle. I let it go because I really don't care, but the mobile kept loudly blingblinging. Peering through the shelves I could see a woman rumaging through her handbag trying to find her phone, while an elderly couple sitting nearby glared at her like she was the Devil's spawn. She found it and stared at the number on the screen with an expression of annoyance before answering.
"Hello? Yes it's me, who else would it be? What do you want? No. No. I said no you idiot! Shut up I am not talking to you about that! No I don't care what the court order says, the kids are staying at my place tonight so you just back off! You didn't pay the alimony last week and you're not gonna see 'em until you do! What? No. Your mum isn't getting them. She's demented, there's no way she's having my kids! I am not shouting! No you stop shouting! I'm in the library and they can all hear you shouting! Shut up I have had it up to here wth you! F&%$ off you lazy drunk, and stay away from me! I only married you because I was pregnant! And guess what, huh? They're not even yours!"
She hung up, then threw her phone into her bag. It started ringing again and she ignored it. I felt really embarrassed - I could see the noise was annoying the old couple, and there were studnts trying to study in the nearby carrels. Then again, I didn't want to have to face that woman. After two minutes of nonstop ringing I took a deep breath, stepped out from behind my shelf barricade and asked her if she could put the phone on silent please.
Time seemed to stop as she turned around slowly to face me. Her eyes had the glint of a psychopath. I felt really sorry for her kids, but even more so for myself. Her stare bore into my soul, sucking out all the courage I had. The chairs the elderly couple had been sitting on were empty, upturned in their panic to flee. My heart was beating faster and faster. It was eerily quiet, even for a library. A hay bale drifted between us in the breeze.
The woman charged. Her long strides quickly shortened the distance between us. A flutter of courage came back to me and I fled, the madwoman hot on my heels. I ran into Non-fiction, hoping to lose her in the aisles. It didn't work; she hunted me down through the 900s, then Teenage, Biogaphies and Paperbacks. I'm not that fit, and I fell against the Videos. As she ran towards me I whispered a small prayer, and then...
Boudecia stepped out from an impossibly then crevice in the Video section, her pupils narrowed to pinpricks. SHe stuck out a hand. The charging madwoman stopped suddenly, the fight taken out of her. Suddenly she, and everyone else around, felt very small in the presence of the Head Librarian. Boudecia, looked my way, regarding me briefly, before turning back to the woman.
"You were running in MY library. That is dangerous and is a breach of Occupaional Health and Safety. You will leave now."
Her voice was cold as ice, devoid of any humanity. The woman stuttered as she tried to say something. Boudecia blinked. The lights flickered, momentarily throwing the Video section into darkness. When the light returned the woman was walking out of the library very, very fast. Boudecia was nowhere to be seen. I wrapped my arms around me and shivered, it was that cold.
As I stumbled back to my trolley, still reeling from what had just happened, I found the woman's bag lying on the floor, her moile still ringing. I grabbed it and turned it off. Out of the corner of my eye I swear I could see Boudecia standing there givng me a nod of approval. But when I turned she was gone.
I was off in the shelves at work today, when I heard a mobile start ringing from the next aisle. I let it go because I really don't care, but the mobile kept loudly blingblinging. Peering through the shelves I could see a woman rumaging through her handbag trying to find her phone, while an elderly couple sitting nearby glared at her like she was the Devil's spawn. She found it and stared at the number on the screen with an expression of annoyance before answering.
"Hello? Yes it's me, who else would it be? What do you want? No. No. I said no you idiot! Shut up I am not talking to you about that! No I don't care what the court order says, the kids are staying at my place tonight so you just back off! You didn't pay the alimony last week and you're not gonna see 'em until you do! What? No. Your mum isn't getting them. She's demented, there's no way she's having my kids! I am not shouting! No you stop shouting! I'm in the library and they can all hear you shouting! Shut up I have had it up to here wth you! F&%$ off you lazy drunk, and stay away from me! I only married you because I was pregnant! And guess what, huh? They're not even yours!"
She hung up, then threw her phone into her bag. It started ringing again and she ignored it. I felt really embarrassed - I could see the noise was annoying the old couple, and there were studnts trying to study in the nearby carrels. Then again, I didn't want to have to face that woman. After two minutes of nonstop ringing I took a deep breath, stepped out from behind my shelf barricade and asked her if she could put the phone on silent please.
Time seemed to stop as she turned around slowly to face me. Her eyes had the glint of a psychopath. I felt really sorry for her kids, but even more so for myself. Her stare bore into my soul, sucking out all the courage I had. The chairs the elderly couple had been sitting on were empty, upturned in their panic to flee. My heart was beating faster and faster. It was eerily quiet, even for a library. A hay bale drifted between us in the breeze.
The woman charged. Her long strides quickly shortened the distance between us. A flutter of courage came back to me and I fled, the madwoman hot on my heels. I ran into Non-fiction, hoping to lose her in the aisles. It didn't work; she hunted me down through the 900s, then Teenage, Biogaphies and Paperbacks. I'm not that fit, and I fell against the Videos. As she ran towards me I whispered a small prayer, and then...
Boudecia stepped out from an impossibly then crevice in the Video section, her pupils narrowed to pinpricks. SHe stuck out a hand. The charging madwoman stopped suddenly, the fight taken out of her. Suddenly she, and everyone else around, felt very small in the presence of the Head Librarian. Boudecia, looked my way, regarding me briefly, before turning back to the woman.
"You were running in MY library. That is dangerous and is a breach of Occupaional Health and Safety. You will leave now."
Her voice was cold as ice, devoid of any humanity. The woman stuttered as she tried to say something. Boudecia blinked. The lights flickered, momentarily throwing the Video section into darkness. When the light returned the woman was walking out of the library very, very fast. Boudecia was nowhere to be seen. I wrapped my arms around me and shivered, it was that cold.
As I stumbled back to my trolley, still reeling from what had just happened, I found the woman's bag lying on the floor, her moile still ringing. I grabbed it and turned it off. Out of the corner of my eye I swear I could see Boudecia standing there givng me a nod of approval. But when I turned she was gone.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
#8 Argument
Dear diary,
My plans of asking the other staff about the poltergeist were laywaid today by their arguing. I was hanging aroud the front desk pretending to order my trolley of books, in the hope that there'd be a spare moment so I could talk to someone. Bron was helping a patron over in Community Languages, Sylvia was serving someone at the desk and Goldie was checking in items. I was about to ask her but when I saw her expression I changed my mind and kept quiet.
I should explain: Goldie is a middle-aged woman who wears neat clothes, has her rings positioned neatly on her fingers, has her hair in a neat bun and does everything... neatly. Even her conversations (which I've overheard) are tidy, as if she's pre-packaged every sentence and is just waiting for the right moment to export it into the conversation. So when I say she was staring daggers at Sylvia's red-and-black hair spiked outwards like a troll doll wearing a jester hat, I want you to imagine those daggers lined up perfectly and aimed straight at Sylvia's head.
Sylvia finished serving the patron and turned to face me and Goldie. Her powdered face and kohl eyeshadow gave the impression that she'd been recently resurrected and summoned to work in the library. She shuffled forward in her long black dress and, completely ignoring Goldie, asked if I could pass her the DVD on the next trolley. It was Stephen King's 'It'.
Goldie muttered something along the lines of "your boyfriend", to which Sylvia responded by, seemingly accidentally, slightly tilting the top book of Goldie's checked-in pile. They turned to face each other, and I realised the book and the DVD meant nothing to these two; this moment had been building up for a long time. I fled to get Bron, who Talia once nicknamed 'The Peacemaker'. I found her speaking with a patron in Greek. One glance of my fearful eyes told her everything she needed to know, and she left the patron to go break up her fellow librarians.
If this had happened outside of work Sylvia and Goldie would be rolling around on the ground tearing each other's hair out. Being inside the library, however, meant the were engaged in an all-out whispered battle of words. Goldie was wielding a scanner, darkly eyeing Sylvia who had pivoted back with arms raised in the first position of 'The Dancing Monkey' technique. Bron sighed, and walked very riskily between the two warring opponents. That act elicited both of them to start complaining with "she started it"s.
I grabbed my trolley and walked off in Teenage. When I returned twenty minutes later Bron was trying to talk to Goldie, who was staring at computer screen with arms crossed. I found Sylvia sulking in Junior. She apologsed for making me witness that, then explained that things erupted between them every few months. The self-checkout machine was still in repairs from the last time they'd fought. As she was talking I decided now wasn't the best time to bring up the poltergeist, so instead I pulled up a tiny plastic kid's chair and just listened.
My plans of asking the other staff about the poltergeist were laywaid today by their arguing. I was hanging aroud the front desk pretending to order my trolley of books, in the hope that there'd be a spare moment so I could talk to someone. Bron was helping a patron over in Community Languages, Sylvia was serving someone at the desk and Goldie was checking in items. I was about to ask her but when I saw her expression I changed my mind and kept quiet.
I should explain: Goldie is a middle-aged woman who wears neat clothes, has her rings positioned neatly on her fingers, has her hair in a neat bun and does everything... neatly. Even her conversations (which I've overheard) are tidy, as if she's pre-packaged every sentence and is just waiting for the right moment to export it into the conversation. So when I say she was staring daggers at Sylvia's red-and-black hair spiked outwards like a troll doll wearing a jester hat, I want you to imagine those daggers lined up perfectly and aimed straight at Sylvia's head.
Sylvia finished serving the patron and turned to face me and Goldie. Her powdered face and kohl eyeshadow gave the impression that she'd been recently resurrected and summoned to work in the library. She shuffled forward in her long black dress and, completely ignoring Goldie, asked if I could pass her the DVD on the next trolley. It was Stephen King's 'It'.
Goldie muttered something along the lines of "your boyfriend", to which Sylvia responded by, seemingly accidentally, slightly tilting the top book of Goldie's checked-in pile. They turned to face each other, and I realised the book and the DVD meant nothing to these two; this moment had been building up for a long time. I fled to get Bron, who Talia once nicknamed 'The Peacemaker'. I found her speaking with a patron in Greek. One glance of my fearful eyes told her everything she needed to know, and she left the patron to go break up her fellow librarians.
If this had happened outside of work Sylvia and Goldie would be rolling around on the ground tearing each other's hair out. Being inside the library, however, meant the were engaged in an all-out whispered battle of words. Goldie was wielding a scanner, darkly eyeing Sylvia who had pivoted back with arms raised in the first position of 'The Dancing Monkey' technique. Bron sighed, and walked very riskily between the two warring opponents. That act elicited both of them to start complaining with "she started it"s.
I grabbed my trolley and walked off in Teenage. When I returned twenty minutes later Bron was trying to talk to Goldie, who was staring at computer screen with arms crossed. I found Sylvia sulking in Junior. She apologsed for making me witness that, then explained that things erupted between them every few months. The self-checkout machine was still in repairs from the last time they'd fought. As she was talking I decided now wasn't the best time to bring up the poltergeist, so instead I pulled up a tiny plastic kid's chair and just listened.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
#7 G-g-ghost!
Dear diary,
The freakiest thing happened at the library today! I wa shelving in Fiction, just trundling along, off in a daydream, when out of nowhere four books flipped off the other side of the trolley and onto the floor. For a moment I stood there stunned, then carefully I leant over the trolley. They'd landed next to each other spine-up, and the labels spelt out something:
NUS HEL VER JAY
New shelver Jay? Ri~ight, the books were talking to me now. I'd heard about library delirium, a condition which strikes down many students each year aroud exam time. They stay in the library all day, forsaking meals and social interaction as they cram for an exam the next day. Then they go mad. I heard one girl was carried off in a stretched last year, reciting mathematical formulae as they wheeled her into the ambulance.
Determined not to read anything into it (get it?) I replaced the books on the trolley and kept walking as if nothing had happened. Then, as I got to the next aisle, eight books leapt over the edge onto the carpet.
BEW ARE YOU ARE ING RAV EPE RIL
Once is a coincidence but twice is pushing it. I decided to communicate back. I searched the books in front of me until I had three which spelt out:
WHO ARE YOU
Immediately four books sprung off the trolley like lemmings over a cliff.
POL TER GEI ST
ST? "Aha, that's cheating," I called out to no-one in particular. A solitary book defied gravity this time.
DAM
Three more novels took their lives and sailed over the precipice.
WAN NAP LAY
"Okay," I said rather loudly, then lowered my voice to a whisper, "but stop throwing books around. I have to shelve these, you know." As I started to pick up the fallen fiction two jumped down to join me.
YOU WIL
I replaced everything back on the trolley, aware they the poltergeist hadn't finished its sentence. Then, a rustling on the shelf behind. Slowly I turned in time to see a large novel fly off the top shelf and narrowly miss hitting my face. Picking up the book, I checked its spine label and froze.
DIE
Let's not go into what happened next, suffice to say that a young boy walking past learnt some pretty strong swear words with which to impress his friends and alarm his mother. I spent the rest of the shift shelving the non-fiction, where I found safety in numbers.
The freakiest thing happened at the library today! I wa shelving in Fiction, just trundling along, off in a daydream, when out of nowhere four books flipped off the other side of the trolley and onto the floor. For a moment I stood there stunned, then carefully I leant over the trolley. They'd landed next to each other spine-up, and the labels spelt out something:
NUS HEL VER JAY
New shelver Jay? Ri~ight, the books were talking to me now. I'd heard about library delirium, a condition which strikes down many students each year aroud exam time. They stay in the library all day, forsaking meals and social interaction as they cram for an exam the next day. Then they go mad. I heard one girl was carried off in a stretched last year, reciting mathematical formulae as they wheeled her into the ambulance.
Determined not to read anything into it (get it?) I replaced the books on the trolley and kept walking as if nothing had happened. Then, as I got to the next aisle, eight books leapt over the edge onto the carpet.
BEW ARE YOU ARE ING RAV EPE RIL
Once is a coincidence but twice is pushing it. I decided to communicate back. I searched the books in front of me until I had three which spelt out:
WHO ARE YOU
Immediately four books sprung off the trolley like lemmings over a cliff.
POL TER GEI ST
ST? "Aha, that's cheating," I called out to no-one in particular. A solitary book defied gravity this time.
DAM
Three more novels took their lives and sailed over the precipice.
WAN NAP LAY
"Okay," I said rather loudly, then lowered my voice to a whisper, "but stop throwing books around. I have to shelve these, you know." As I started to pick up the fallen fiction two jumped down to join me.
YOU WIL
I replaced everything back on the trolley, aware they the poltergeist hadn't finished its sentence. Then, a rustling on the shelf behind. Slowly I turned in time to see a large novel fly off the top shelf and narrowly miss hitting my face. Picking up the book, I checked its spine label and froze.
DIE
Let's not go into what happened next, suffice to say that a young boy walking past learnt some pretty strong swear words with which to impress his friends and alarm his mother. I spent the rest of the shift shelving the non-fiction, where I found safety in numbers.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
#6 Womanpower
Dear diary,
I can hardly believe that I've been working at the library for just over a week. It seems like so much longer. I really feel like I've found the perfect job for me - it's quiet, relaxed, and the workload's pretty easy. Most of the staff are friendly, and though the hierarchy seems to be fairly solid - shelvers should be seen but not heard - I talk to the other staff a bit. Uni is the universal ice-breaker.
However, one thing that's become quite apparent is that I am definitely in a minority, gender-wise. There are six women and only three of us men. And with the exception of Ernesto, the women have all the power. Talia studies politics and gender studies at uni (what'd I tell you) and she's quite an outspoken feminist. Whenever we talk the topic always winds back to the postmodernistic discourse of the womyn's revolution. I study engineering so mostly I just smile and nod with a glazed stare.
The other day I was returning to the front desk after a particularly difficult meander through Paperbacks. I saw TJ making jokes with Goldie at the front desk, then Boudecia appeared and asked TJ if he could do a request list. He responded by saying that he needed to say at the desk to check in items, but then Goldie turned to him and suggested he go do the list, her voice suddenly sour. Pepper stepped in to block his only exit, her arms crossed and a comicly stern expression on her face. They all stepped forward; TJ moved back and was up against the wall. Then he laughed, threw up his hands in defeat and grabbed a trolley. The three women watched him go, nodded in synchrony and went back to what they were doing.
I'm kinda scared they'll gang up on me like that. I talked to TJ after the incident but he just laughed nervously and went back to what he was doing. He avoided me for the rest of the shift, but as I was leaving he took me aside and whispered some advice to me:
"Just let 'em think they've got the power, kid. 'Aint nothin' they can do to you, really."
He then stood up straight, looked around quickly and ran off to hide in Large Print. Some courage. I think I'll play it safe and do what I'm told. After a few months I'll start to act more insinctively and do whatever I like... as long as they don't mind.
I can hardly believe that I've been working at the library for just over a week. It seems like so much longer. I really feel like I've found the perfect job for me - it's quiet, relaxed, and the workload's pretty easy. Most of the staff are friendly, and though the hierarchy seems to be fairly solid - shelvers should be seen but not heard - I talk to the other staff a bit. Uni is the universal ice-breaker.
However, one thing that's become quite apparent is that I am definitely in a minority, gender-wise. There are six women and only three of us men. And with the exception of Ernesto, the women have all the power. Talia studies politics and gender studies at uni (what'd I tell you) and she's quite an outspoken feminist. Whenever we talk the topic always winds back to the postmodernistic discourse of the womyn's revolution. I study engineering so mostly I just smile and nod with a glazed stare.
The other day I was returning to the front desk after a particularly difficult meander through Paperbacks. I saw TJ making jokes with Goldie at the front desk, then Boudecia appeared and asked TJ if he could do a request list. He responded by saying that he needed to say at the desk to check in items, but then Goldie turned to him and suggested he go do the list, her voice suddenly sour. Pepper stepped in to block his only exit, her arms crossed and a comicly stern expression on her face. They all stepped forward; TJ moved back and was up against the wall. Then he laughed, threw up his hands in defeat and grabbed a trolley. The three women watched him go, nodded in synchrony and went back to what they were doing.
I'm kinda scared they'll gang up on me like that. I talked to TJ after the incident but he just laughed nervously and went back to what he was doing. He avoided me for the rest of the shift, but as I was leaving he took me aside and whispered some advice to me:
"Just let 'em think they've got the power, kid. 'Aint nothin' they can do to you, really."
He then stood up straight, looked around quickly and ran off to hide in Large Print. Some courage. I think I'll play it safe and do what I'm told. After a few months I'll start to act more insinctively and do whatever I like... as long as they don't mind.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
#5 Remembrance
Dear diary,
As I was shelving today I was off in a daydream, a habit I've started to fall into, when I ran into a non-fiction shelf stack with the trolley. The display books wobbled precariously on the edge, threatening to topple upon me. Images from my life flashed before my eyes, and then there was darkness...
I can't breathe! That was my first thought when slipped back into consciousness. Struggling for air I began to swim upwards, flailing my hands wildly, striving desperately to reach the surface. As I pushed the topmost folio book aside I saw a patch of light, and I pushed myself onwards, ignoring the claustrophobic panic welling up inside me.
I burst out of the heavy pile of books, gasping for air. A small crowd has amassed and seen my valiant struggle. Two pairs of strong arms grabbed me and pulled me up. I hugged my saviours before I recognised them as Bron and Ernesto. Both suddenly pushed me aside and quickly began to restack the shelf. Ernesto gruffly told me to help them, a strain of urgency in his voice. Still half-dazed I dropped to my knees, waited for my vision to go back to single, and helped them.
Not a moment too soon. Boudecia appeared from between two shelves, like a wraith moving between shadows. She glared at the three of us ad asked what the noise had been. Luckily the onlooking patrons had scampered at her arrival so nobody rebutted when Bron said that I'd just dropped a heavy book. Dissatisfied but unable to prove anything, Boudecia feinted back through the narrow space in the shelves.
Bron patted my head, smiled slightly and left for the front desk. I looked over t Ernesto, but his gaze was nostalgic and far away. He grabbed my arm and tugged me along to the 800's in the Reference section. In a deep voice he told me this is where she'd had the accident. Her name was Shannon, a former shelver, my predecessor in fact. It had been a busy Sunday afternoon and she was only trying to finish all the trolleys, Exhausted after the long day, she'd been balancing on a stool trying to wedge the last Shakespeare into the shelf when she ost her footing. She toppled backwards and knocked the shelf behind her, bringing several large atli down upon her like the wrath of God. She never shelved again.
Ernesto and I silently gathered a small collection of rubbish from the study carrels and shaped it into a cairn, which we placed beneath the poetry section. He said she'd always been fond of poetry. We bowed our heads, lifting them only to pretend to shelf read when Boudecia floated past.
Shannon Harper. Shelver from 2005-07. Lest we forget.
As I was shelving today I was off in a daydream, a habit I've started to fall into, when I ran into a non-fiction shelf stack with the trolley. The display books wobbled precariously on the edge, threatening to topple upon me. Images from my life flashed before my eyes, and then there was darkness...
I can't breathe! That was my first thought when slipped back into consciousness. Struggling for air I began to swim upwards, flailing my hands wildly, striving desperately to reach the surface. As I pushed the topmost folio book aside I saw a patch of light, and I pushed myself onwards, ignoring the claustrophobic panic welling up inside me.
I burst out of the heavy pile of books, gasping for air. A small crowd has amassed and seen my valiant struggle. Two pairs of strong arms grabbed me and pulled me up. I hugged my saviours before I recognised them as Bron and Ernesto. Both suddenly pushed me aside and quickly began to restack the shelf. Ernesto gruffly told me to help them, a strain of urgency in his voice. Still half-dazed I dropped to my knees, waited for my vision to go back to single, and helped them.
Not a moment too soon. Boudecia appeared from between two shelves, like a wraith moving between shadows. She glared at the three of us ad asked what the noise had been. Luckily the onlooking patrons had scampered at her arrival so nobody rebutted when Bron said that I'd just dropped a heavy book. Dissatisfied but unable to prove anything, Boudecia feinted back through the narrow space in the shelves.
Bron patted my head, smiled slightly and left for the front desk. I looked over t Ernesto, but his gaze was nostalgic and far away. He grabbed my arm and tugged me along to the 800's in the Reference section. In a deep voice he told me this is where she'd had the accident. Her name was Shannon, a former shelver, my predecessor in fact. It had been a busy Sunday afternoon and she was only trying to finish all the trolleys, Exhausted after the long day, she'd been balancing on a stool trying to wedge the last Shakespeare into the shelf when she ost her footing. She toppled backwards and knocked the shelf behind her, bringing several large atli down upon her like the wrath of God. She never shelved again.
Ernesto and I silently gathered a small collection of rubbish from the study carrels and shaped it into a cairn, which we placed beneath the poetry section. He said she'd always been fond of poetry. We bowed our heads, lifting them only to pretend to shelf read when Boudecia floated past.
Shannon Harper. Shelver from 2005-07. Lest we forget.
Monday, October 29, 2007
#4 Meeting
Dear diary,
I had a formal induction at the library today, because I didn't get one on Saturday, seeing as it was a weekend and all. When I got to work (I'm still adjusting to calling the library that now!) I met Boudecia at the front desk. Before I could even say 'hello' she started firing questions at me rapidly, to test how much I'd learnt from training.
Her: How many community languages are in our community language section?
Me: Um, 5? (Phew!)
Her: Correct. Where would I find books on Carpentry?
Me: Uh... um... 6... 694? (Help!)
Her: Good. Why are the 020's considered sacred?
Me: Eh... oh wait, that's... because the books are about libraries? (Please don't kill me!)
Her: Affirmative. How many books in the Stephanie Plum series do we have on the catalogue?Me: 16! (I swear I guessed that one.)
Her: Intriguing... That's... correct.
Next she handed me a red blindfold and told me to put it on. I gingerly accepted it, worried that this initiation was going to be worse than Scouts. As I wrapped it over my eyes and tied it fast I wondered if they'd ask me to swear by the book. Boudecia told me to take her hand, and on the second grab I found it. She walked and I obediently followed. She led me around the library, dodging obstacles the same way she had when I first met her. At one corner she swung too close and I nicked a shelf. I held my tongue and bore the pain for the remainder of the darkened journey.
All of a sudden the blindfold was removed. I blinked at the lights and waited a few moments to get my eyes to readjust to colour vision. When they did I found myself in the staffroom surrounded by librarians, library techs and officers, and fellow shelvers. One by one they approached me, some shaking my hand, others simply nodding understandingly at my recent plight.
There are nine of us working in the library. Talia and I are the only shelvers, so the pledge I made when I joined the Shelvation Army seems a bit lame now. Boudecia (or as she prefers to be called, Mrs. Jones) is in charge of pretty much everything to do with the library. There are six other staff members: Bron, the community languages librarian who looks like she's a mix of everything; Sylvia, the AV services technician who claims she's never read a book in her life; Goldie, the acquisitions librarian who wears so much bling she radiates light like the sun; and Ernesto, the mysterious reference librarian; TJ the DJ (in charge of teenage services); and Pepper, who's in charge of children's services and smiles a lot.
After being introduced to everyone Pepper presented me a gift-wrapped box of chocolates, which I thought was really nice. When I thanked her she blushed deep crimson and giggled. A little weird but hey, I got chocolates so I'm happy.
Surprisingly, the shift I had after that was uneventful. I felt happy to sit back and enjoy the ride, to just go wherever the trolley took me. The libray and I got off to a bad start, but I think we'll be able to reconcile our differences and both have a pleasurable time together. Bye for now.
I had a formal induction at the library today, because I didn't get one on Saturday, seeing as it was a weekend and all. When I got to work (I'm still adjusting to calling the library that now!) I met Boudecia at the front desk. Before I could even say 'hello' she started firing questions at me rapidly, to test how much I'd learnt from training.
Her: How many community languages are in our community language section?
Me: Um, 5? (Phew!)
Her: Correct. Where would I find books on Carpentry?
Me: Uh... um... 6... 694? (Help!)
Her: Good. Why are the 020's considered sacred?
Me: Eh... oh wait, that's... because the books are about libraries? (Please don't kill me!)
Her: Affirmative. How many books in the Stephanie Plum series do we have on the catalogue?Me: 16! (I swear I guessed that one.)
Her: Intriguing... That's... correct.
Next she handed me a red blindfold and told me to put it on. I gingerly accepted it, worried that this initiation was going to be worse than Scouts. As I wrapped it over my eyes and tied it fast I wondered if they'd ask me to swear by the book. Boudecia told me to take her hand, and on the second grab I found it. She walked and I obediently followed. She led me around the library, dodging obstacles the same way she had when I first met her. At one corner she swung too close and I nicked a shelf. I held my tongue and bore the pain for the remainder of the darkened journey.
All of a sudden the blindfold was removed. I blinked at the lights and waited a few moments to get my eyes to readjust to colour vision. When they did I found myself in the staffroom surrounded by librarians, library techs and officers, and fellow shelvers. One by one they approached me, some shaking my hand, others simply nodding understandingly at my recent plight.
There are nine of us working in the library. Talia and I are the only shelvers, so the pledge I made when I joined the Shelvation Army seems a bit lame now. Boudecia (or as she prefers to be called, Mrs. Jones) is in charge of pretty much everything to do with the library. There are six other staff members: Bron, the community languages librarian who looks like she's a mix of everything; Sylvia, the AV services technician who claims she's never read a book in her life; Goldie, the acquisitions librarian who wears so much bling she radiates light like the sun; and Ernesto, the mysterious reference librarian; TJ the DJ (in charge of teenage services); and Pepper, who's in charge of children's services and smiles a lot.
After being introduced to everyone Pepper presented me a gift-wrapped box of chocolates, which I thought was really nice. When I thanked her she blushed deep crimson and giggled. A little weird but hey, I got chocolates so I'm happy.
Surprisingly, the shift I had after that was uneventful. I felt happy to sit back and enjoy the ride, to just go wherever the trolley took me. The libray and I got off to a bad start, but I think we'll be able to reconcile our differences and both have a pleasurable time together. Bye for now.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
#3 Initiation
Dear diary,
After the intensive training in the arts of shelving, I was extremely nervous about starting my first shift today at the library. So much could go wrong. I might misshelve the 610's and kids looking up books on how the body works would find the Karma Sutra instead. I might push a book on the top shelf too far, causing the other side of the shelf to collapse and crush someone underneath. The wheels on my trolley might squeak too loudly and bring a stressed-out student studying in the carrels to the verge of a mental breakdown.
I took several deep breaths and thought back to what my psychologist told me. "Your first day might have a few minor hiccups but nothing really severe will happen. It's all in your mind." Of course, how stupid of me. I'd gotten myself all worked up about nothing. It would most likely be an uneventful first day. A wonderfully dull, gloriously tedious 3-hour shift.
Or so I thought.
The moment I walked through the door I knew I wouldn't get that boredom I'd been hoping for. Young kids were running around the library, and without fal they managed to knock books off every shelf they passed, leaving a path of destruction in the wake. The queues at the front desk stretched into the large-print section, and the phones were ringing nonstop. The staff at the desk were both frantically trying to serve patrons and juggle several enquiry calls. Then I saw the trolleys, each of them stacked to bursting point with returns and in-house strays. It was a nightmare.
As I stumbled, bewlildered, into the front desk zone I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around I saw a overly friendly-looking girl with squarerimmed glasses beaming at me. She introduced hersefl as Talia, another shelver, and gestured to a trolley. Understandingly I took the handles and pushed, and on the second try it lurched forward slowly and we headed off into the shelves.
The next three hours was a blur, there was so much else occupying my mind. I can remember a few things, such as finding a bundle of books in one of the carrels which had shredded pages, and I had to deliver them to Bron the library officer for triage. I can also recall Talia and I herding a pack of youngsters into the local history room with our trolleys then locking the door, so at least the damage to the library would be localised.
I don't think I would've made it through that shift without Talia to guide me. She's been working at the library as a shelver for five years, and founded the Shelvation Army Code, which is a promise all shelvers make to stand up for each other and help one another out when in trouble. She's also th shelver-librarian liaison - the person who sits in on library staff members and makes sure shelvers have a voice in decisions about the library (though she jokes, all voices have to be kept quiet in the library).
If every day is like today... *shudders* I don't even want to think about that. I just know that I've always wanted to work in a library, so no matter what I'm going to have to persevere at my job. Wish me luck!
After the intensive training in the arts of shelving, I was extremely nervous about starting my first shift today at the library. So much could go wrong. I might misshelve the 610's and kids looking up books on how the body works would find the Karma Sutra instead. I might push a book on the top shelf too far, causing the other side of the shelf to collapse and crush someone underneath. The wheels on my trolley might squeak too loudly and bring a stressed-out student studying in the carrels to the verge of a mental breakdown.
I took several deep breaths and thought back to what my psychologist told me. "Your first day might have a few minor hiccups but nothing really severe will happen. It's all in your mind." Of course, how stupid of me. I'd gotten myself all worked up about nothing. It would most likely be an uneventful first day. A wonderfully dull, gloriously tedious 3-hour shift.
Or so I thought.
The moment I walked through the door I knew I wouldn't get that boredom I'd been hoping for. Young kids were running around the library, and without fal they managed to knock books off every shelf they passed, leaving a path of destruction in the wake. The queues at the front desk stretched into the large-print section, and the phones were ringing nonstop. The staff at the desk were both frantically trying to serve patrons and juggle several enquiry calls. Then I saw the trolleys, each of them stacked to bursting point with returns and in-house strays. It was a nightmare.
As I stumbled, bewlildered, into the front desk zone I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around I saw a overly friendly-looking girl with squarerimmed glasses beaming at me. She introduced hersefl as Talia, another shelver, and gestured to a trolley. Understandingly I took the handles and pushed, and on the second try it lurched forward slowly and we headed off into the shelves.
The next three hours was a blur, there was so much else occupying my mind. I can remember a few things, such as finding a bundle of books in one of the carrels which had shredded pages, and I had to deliver them to Bron the library officer for triage. I can also recall Talia and I herding a pack of youngsters into the local history room with our trolleys then locking the door, so at least the damage to the library would be localised.
I don't think I would've made it through that shift without Talia to guide me. She's been working at the library as a shelver for five years, and founded the Shelvation Army Code, which is a promise all shelvers make to stand up for each other and help one another out when in trouble. She's also th shelver-librarian liaison - the person who sits in on library staff members and makes sure shelvers have a voice in decisions about the library (though she jokes, all voices have to be kept quiet in the library).
If every day is like today... *shudders* I don't even want to think about that. I just know that I've always wanted to work in a library, so no matter what I'm going to have to persevere at my job. Wish me luck!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
#2 Training
Dear diary,
Wow, being a shelver requires a lot more training than I thought it would! It feels as though I've been dragged through boot camp for the past three days. I've barely had a moment to rest before my mobile BLEEPs telling me I'm needed at the library for more training. Please kill me now!
What happened was, on Tuesday I drove to the library for my first day of training. I'd always assumed that shelving just required you to know how to put books in alphanumeric order; pretty basic stuff really. But I was wrong.
I walked up to the front desk to let them know who I was, but stopped just as I reached the counter. The timid woman behind the counter glanced nervously at me, looked me up and down, then tilted her head towards the back of the library. I broke eye contact - if you do it with dogs they feel less intimidated - and started to walk towards the staffroom. I heard a faint whisper of "poor boy, so young" as I waltzed away from the desk.
The Head Librarian was waiting for me at the door to the staffroom. Without saing a word she grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me along behind her. She deftly wove between mountains of books and the odd member of staff as we made way to her office. Once inside, she flung me into a hardbacked chair and sat on her computer hair directly in front of me. It was only then that I got a good look at the ominous figure who was to be my new boss.
The feature that stood out most was her glasses. They were narrow-rimmed, so much so that you could barely make them out. They perched precariously on the tip of her nose, threatening to fall off at the slightest movement. I dared not breathe. Her eyes were piercing, slicing through me like a knife through soft butter. The wrinkles on her long, thin face gave the impression of rock strata. Staring into this woman's face was like a history of the earth's crust; deep-down she was probably fossilised.
Her once-shiny but now dullen nametag said "Boudecia Jones". I mustered every reserve of energy just to smile, and managed to squeak out a low "hello". No response. This was going to be tough.
Ms. Boudecia Jones, Head Librarian evenually began a lengthy monologue about the library rules and my new duties and so on, while I sat plastered to the chair, afraid to even blink in the face of this formiddable woman. Her never left mine for the entire three hour duration of her uninterrupted speech. Every now and then she would fire a question at me, to which I would respond as truthfully (and more importantly, as quickly) as possible.
Finally she rose from her chair - it was like when an adder puffs up before striking its prey. She struck out her hand and I tentatively took it in a handshake. My hand was crushed between her fingers of granite. Ms. Jones turned and marched out of the door, beckoning me to follow. Cradling my injured appendage I followed.
For the next three hours I was instructed to: memorise the Dewey Decimal System, learn the complex check-in system, memorise small sections of the catalogue, order books on the trolleys, learn the layout of the library (complete with building design blueprints), shelve the books, collect stray items from around the library, shelf-read, learn to recognise when books were incorrectly catalogued, and on top of that, memorise the procedures manual from cove to cover.
Of course, I didn't get anywhere near that much done, which is why my training went for an additional two days. I only got out of for tomorrow because I have an appointment with a psychologist - work-related stress, already - but even getting that cleared took half an hour of bargaining and pleading for mercy. Every time I did something she didn't like, such as mistakenly interfiling junior with teenage fiction (the very thought of it) or accidentally dropping a talking book on my foot (blasphemy), earned me a glaring look of distinct disapproval.
I am so beaten right now I just want to collapse. I'm not excited about my first actual shift; I don't even know what day it'll be. I'd always thought working in a library would be a nice, cushy job which was laidback and friendly. I think I made a mistake...
Wow, being a shelver requires a lot more training than I thought it would! It feels as though I've been dragged through boot camp for the past three days. I've barely had a moment to rest before my mobile BLEEPs telling me I'm needed at the library for more training. Please kill me now!
What happened was, on Tuesday I drove to the library for my first day of training. I'd always assumed that shelving just required you to know how to put books in alphanumeric order; pretty basic stuff really. But I was wrong.
I walked up to the front desk to let them know who I was, but stopped just as I reached the counter. The timid woman behind the counter glanced nervously at me, looked me up and down, then tilted her head towards the back of the library. I broke eye contact - if you do it with dogs they feel less intimidated - and started to walk towards the staffroom. I heard a faint whisper of "poor boy, so young" as I waltzed away from the desk.
The Head Librarian was waiting for me at the door to the staffroom. Without saing a word she grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me along behind her. She deftly wove between mountains of books and the odd member of staff as we made way to her office. Once inside, she flung me into a hardbacked chair and sat on her computer hair directly in front of me. It was only then that I got a good look at the ominous figure who was to be my new boss.
The feature that stood out most was her glasses. They were narrow-rimmed, so much so that you could barely make them out. They perched precariously on the tip of her nose, threatening to fall off at the slightest movement. I dared not breathe. Her eyes were piercing, slicing through me like a knife through soft butter. The wrinkles on her long, thin face gave the impression of rock strata. Staring into this woman's face was like a history of the earth's crust; deep-down she was probably fossilised.
Her once-shiny but now dullen nametag said "Boudecia Jones". I mustered every reserve of energy just to smile, and managed to squeak out a low "hello". No response. This was going to be tough.
Ms. Boudecia Jones, Head Librarian evenually began a lengthy monologue about the library rules and my new duties and so on, while I sat plastered to the chair, afraid to even blink in the face of this formiddable woman. Her never left mine for the entire three hour duration of her uninterrupted speech. Every now and then she would fire a question at me, to which I would respond as truthfully (and more importantly, as quickly) as possible.
Finally she rose from her chair - it was like when an adder puffs up before striking its prey. She struck out her hand and I tentatively took it in a handshake. My hand was crushed between her fingers of granite. Ms. Jones turned and marched out of the door, beckoning me to follow. Cradling my injured appendage I followed.
For the next three hours I was instructed to: memorise the Dewey Decimal System, learn the complex check-in system, memorise small sections of the catalogue, order books on the trolleys, learn the layout of the library (complete with building design blueprints), shelve the books, collect stray items from around the library, shelf-read, learn to recognise when books were incorrectly catalogued, and on top of that, memorise the procedures manual from cove to cover.
Of course, I didn't get anywhere near that much done, which is why my training went for an additional two days. I only got out of for tomorrow because I have an appointment with a psychologist - work-related stress, already - but even getting that cleared took half an hour of bargaining and pleading for mercy. Every time I did something she didn't like, such as mistakenly interfiling junior with teenage fiction (the very thought of it) or accidentally dropping a talking book on my foot (blasphemy), earned me a glaring look of distinct disapproval.
I am so beaten right now I just want to collapse. I'm not excited about my first actual shift; I don't even know what day it'll be. I'd always thought working in a library would be a nice, cushy job which was laidback and friendly. I think I made a mistake...
Sunday, October 21, 2007
#1 Accepted!
Dear diary,
At long last my dream has come true! I'm going to work in a library!
I sent off my application to become a shelver at my local lirary five months ago. I wasn't really expecting anything because for the past four years I've been sending them a copy of my resume every six months, and not one single letter or phone call, not even to say sorry, we're full, better luck next time. So my expectations were pretty low this time around.
Then yesterday I was sitting in the loungeroom playing World of Warcraft on my notebook when I heard a rustle of feathers, followed by a THUD!. Cautiously I got up from the armchair and walked towards the window, where the noise had come from. A quick scan revealed nothing, and I was about to turn back when I heard another THUD!, this time lower down.
Horror movies never taught me anything. I opened the window and leaned forward to get a good view of what was down there. As I peered out the window, an owl fluttered up at my face. I landed on my back as it landed on the sill. It had a yellow envelope in its mouth and a slightly mad gleam in its eye. I stood up, patted the nocturnal killer on the head adoringly and tore open the letter.
"Dear Jay,
Congratulations! You have been accepted to work at the Library Service as a shelver. We thank you for your patience in the lateness of this letter. A position has recently become available due to an unfortunate work-related accident which has prevented a former shelver from working, let alone walking. Please find enclosed a detailed list of the Library Rules. Pay special attention to Rule 14.56.8 Sub-section 6.1A Clause 2, which deals with your new responsibilities.
Please call the library to accept this position. Your training shall begin at 1300 hours Tuesday 23rd October. We hope to see you there.
Yours sincerely,
The Library Staff"
I was so excited when I read this that I could hardly breathe. I have loved libraries as long as I can remember. My first word was 'book'. I memorised the Dewey Decimal System before I learned my times tables. Each time I walked into one was a new adventure, a new horizon to seek.
I called the library immediately and accepted. It took me five tries as each time someone answered the phone I got so excited I could only squeal into the phone. The librarian was really annoyed by the end, so after I hung up I sent the owl back to the library with a box of chocolates and an apologetic note.
So, I'm an official shelver now. Can't wait to see what working in a library is really like...
At long last my dream has come true! I'm going to work in a library!
I sent off my application to become a shelver at my local lirary five months ago. I wasn't really expecting anything because for the past four years I've been sending them a copy of my resume every six months, and not one single letter or phone call, not even to say sorry, we're full, better luck next time. So my expectations were pretty low this time around.
Then yesterday I was sitting in the loungeroom playing World of Warcraft on my notebook when I heard a rustle of feathers, followed by a THUD!. Cautiously I got up from the armchair and walked towards the window, where the noise had come from. A quick scan revealed nothing, and I was about to turn back when I heard another THUD!, this time lower down.
Horror movies never taught me anything. I opened the window and leaned forward to get a good view of what was down there. As I peered out the window, an owl fluttered up at my face. I landed on my back as it landed on the sill. It had a yellow envelope in its mouth and a slightly mad gleam in its eye. I stood up, patted the nocturnal killer on the head adoringly and tore open the letter.
"Dear Jay,
Congratulations! You have been accepted to work at the Library Service as a shelver. We thank you for your patience in the lateness of this letter. A position has recently become available due to an unfortunate work-related accident which has prevented a former shelver from working, let alone walking. Please find enclosed a detailed list of the Library Rules. Pay special attention to Rule 14.56.8 Sub-section 6.1A Clause 2, which deals with your new responsibilities.
Please call the library to accept this position. Your training shall begin at 1300 hours Tuesday 23rd October. We hope to see you there.
Yours sincerely,
The Library Staff"
I was so excited when I read this that I could hardly breathe. I have loved libraries as long as I can remember. My first word was 'book'. I memorised the Dewey Decimal System before I learned my times tables. Each time I walked into one was a new adventure, a new horizon to seek.
I called the library immediately and accepted. It took me five tries as each time someone answered the phone I got so excited I could only squeal into the phone. The librarian was really annoyed by the end, so after I hung up I sent the owl back to the library with a box of chocolates and an apologetic note.
So, I'm an official shelver now. Can't wait to see what working in a library is really like...
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