#54 Ironwood

Dear diary,

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all had as great a time as we did. We left the town of Lilliput on New Year’s Eve and stopped off at a roadside motel. We spent the night there laughing an swapping stories with the other guests, which included a traveling hip hop band, three missionaries and a drunk man who claimed to a be a superhero. It was good to talk to some kindred spirits. One of the hoppers, a buxom stunner named Ursula, even gave me her number! We left early the next morning and drove to our second port of call with the Mobile Library.

We didn’t get the best reception when we first arrived in the town of Ironwood. The townsfolk weren’t as interested in the joys of the library as the good people of Lilliput were. For one, the people are all really tall and appear quite ominous. On our first day people tied their dogs’ leashes to the bumper bar for the day. When I went outside to tell them not to do it, I took one look at the ‘dogs’ they were attaching to the van – giant wolf-like snarling beasts – and decided it would be best to go back inside and hide under a table.

That night I sat by Pepper at our campfire. Heb was reading quietly in his bunk, as he’d been doing most of the day. Pepper sat by the fire gloomily, staring straight ahead at the burning receipt rolls she’d tossed on the heap. Not one new borrower had joined, and this was better than throwing stuff away. Pepper spoke softly, not to me but the fire, telling it about all the wonderful ideas she’d used to try and promote the library, and ow utterly every one of them had failed today. I couldn’t bear to see her so miserable so I stood up and walked off into town.

I wandered into the only place worth visiting in Ironwood: the pub. I was about to order my usual drink – a triple soy chai latte with a hint of bergamot and a slice of rockmelon – when I remembered this wasn’t a trendy city café, and they might not have clean glasses. I swiveled on my chair, stood up and bumped in none other than Ursula. She smiled and squeeze-hugged me before I could react.

We sat and talked, reminiscing about the good old days when we first met last year. She told me that her band were performing at the pub in just under an hour. Suddenly an idea struck me. What if I could help to make the library more popular through the medium of music? I quickly related my idea to Ursula, who was equally excited, if somewhat confused at how it was going to work. Told her not to worry, that I would take care of everything, if she’d let me have the mike during the interval.

Here's my freestyle rap impersonation:

“Why is this town so scary?
People actin' like they don't like the library
They don't give a damn ‘bout book sharin'
'Bout literacy no-one's carin'
In your lives you all gotta read sometime
Weather reports and the daily crime
But why stick to the tedium of the news
When you can read about wha'e'er you choose

Romance, action, world affairs
Drama, mystery, all have flair
Why live your life in a cage?
Won't you turn to the next page?

‘Cos it’s all at the Mobile Lib’ry
C’mon have another look
We can handle all your questionin'
Where is this book?”

They applauded me at the end, none more than a very impressed-looking Ursula. I was bought several rounds that night, and stumbled back to the Mobile Library with a smug grin plastered on my face, plastered being the theme of the night. The next day you could hardly see the door from the front counter for all the people at the library. Pepper was over the moon, and made it her duty to accommodate every single request they had. Ursula came and tried to hand me some of her band’s earnings from the previous night, but I told her that as a Council employee I could not accept such bribes. Instead I let her hug me again, as she likes doing that (and secretly, I like it when she does it).

So, we’re heading off shortly to the next town. See y’all later, pimps ‘n’ hoes! (Sorry, it’s the burgeoning rapper in me.)

-Jay