#59 Captionville

Dear diary,

Captionville is, quite literally, a ghost town. There was absolutely nothing there where the map said there should be. I double and triple checked the map, which clearly stated there should be a settlement present at our precise location. The Japanese SatNav woman kept repeating that there should be a “town pleasant”. But there was almost nothing save for us and the dust.

I got out of the van and wandered over to a withered signpost, proudly welcoming us to Captionville. It must’ve once been used as a notice board, for it was partially covered with newspaper headlines and local ads. The most recent date on the newspaper was two weeks ago, advertising a traveling circus called Jokulation s “Coming Soon”. I shot a look back to Pepper in the van, but she was as befuddled as I. I got back in the passenger’s seat and turned to her and Heb, who had just woken up to the sound of nothing happening.

“So, does this mean we get the next few days off?” I asked politely.
“This isn’t right, there should be a town here,” she replied evasively.
“Well, there isn’t,” I retorted smugly.
“Check the map again. Maybe it’s outdated, she responded coolly.
“It was printed this year – we picked it up from a cartographer in the last town,” I reminded her.
“Check the SatNav again,” she tested me.
“It said it was ‘in cahoots with the charter’,” I shot back impatiently.
“Um, can-,” Heb interjected bashfully.
“Why do you men have to be so difficult,” Pepper questioned hypothetically.
“I’m not being difficult, I’m simply pointing out that that there is no town where there should be. Don’t throw this back on me,” I aggrieved angrily.
“There-,” Heb interrupted weakly.
“What, so are you saying this is my driving? Would you prefer me to navigate?” Pepper challenged accusatorily.
“No, everyone knows men have better spatial and map-reading skills. Have you ever read Allen Pease?” I referenced sarcastically.
“His wife Barbara has a lot to say about men being stubborn too,” she cross-referenced swiftly.
“Hold on, what’s that?” Heb intervened successfully.
“What?” Pepper and I uttered synchronistically.
“Those dots around the town, on the map,” he proceeded curiously. “I think they’re farms. Maybe we could visit them instead..?”
“…” I emitted thoughtfully.
“Okay, good plan Heb!” Pepper encouraged enthusiastically. “Let’s roll!” she added, leadingly.

So, after some debate we decided that since there was no town to visit per se, we’d instead tour the local area and see whether anyone was keen on borrowing any books. We had some minor interest, not as much as we would have had had we had a town populace to administer, but beggars can’t be choosers.

To be honest, I’m enjoying the quiet pace of things at the moment. We’ll soon be of to our last port of call before heading back home. I haven’t seen my family and friends in weeks, and it would be nice to catch up and make sure they haven’t been doing anything nearly as interesting as me. So long!

-Jay