#53 Lilliput

Dear diary,

I’m writing this from the miniscule country town of Lilliput, the first stop-off point for the Mobile Library. There isn’t much in this town, just the obligatory local pub, general store, some farms and a McDonalds. The people are nice and friendly and all, don’t get me wrong, but a little small-minded. Perhaps it’s due to their stunted intellectual growth, seeing as they don’t have a library to call their own – sometimes I feel my knowledge dwarfs some of the patrons’. I’ve noticed that many of the locals come up to us with the tiniest of problems and have very short attention spans. They tend to steer clear of Large Print and borrow more of the compact-sized books, which they don’t hold onto for very long.

But despite all that, I really like it here. Just me and Pepper and Heb… Oh, I should probably explain.

Yesterday Pepper and I were at the library making the final preparations to head off on our outback tour with the Mobile Library. I packed the last few books into my bag, after unwrapping them, of course. A strange regular, Cornelius Xiang, has been returning all of his books over the last week, wrapped as presents. Public libraries: they attract the nice and the nutty, not always distinguishable (and not always just the patrons).

Anyway, Pepper and I packed everything into the van and started off on the long drive. I toggled on the SatNav but couldn’t get it quite right. At first it was a man’s voice but he kept coughing midway through the instructions, then a foul-mouthed woman’s voice telling us exactly where we should go. Eventually we settled for the text version translated from Japanese by someone whose grasp on the English language was rather hazy. Once we’d worked out that “Turn wrong” meant go left, and “You’re light” meant go right, we were fine.

After the first hour of driving we stopped off and Pepper went to check that the inflatable toys she’d set up in the Junior section (it’s a very large van) hadn’t popped in the heat. From the passenger seat I head her walk around to the rear of the van, open the back doors and scream. I made to run over to her but was strangled by my safety belt, which slithered around me and held me tight. I panicked for a while then realised Pepper was arguing with someone. I untangled myself with great effort and went around the back to see what the all the commotion was.

Bron’s son Bronson was sitting with Pepper, faces sulky and berating, respectively. There was a moment of awkward and confused silence, then Bronson spoke. He said he wanted to come with us but his mum had said no, it was too dangerous in the outback for a young shelver. He’d secretly rebelled and stowed away in the van. He said he was going under an alias – his middle name, Hebron, or Heb for short – in case anyone from the towns we visited recognised him. Pepper and I exchanged glances, knowing there was n chance of that happening out in these parts.

Heb looked so downcast and full of guilt that Pepper comforted him while I made us some tea. I mixed in a bit of whisky from Pepper’s flask (she likes a swig before each storytime to calm her stagefright, she tells me) and handed it to him. Within minutes he was asleep and snuggled up to the blow-up elephant, and we continue on our way to Lilliput, which was only a little way off.
We’re off in a few days to the town of Ironwood. See you then!

-Jay

#52 Travel

Dear diary,

Wow, you’d think the library would slow down this time of year, but it really doesn’t. I’ve been kept busy with all the regular library things, plus heaps of activities and ‘secret projects’ (which Boudecia made me swear to take to the grave unless they become public knowledge, whichever comes first). It’s been a while and I have to post something here for the Learning 2.something Program, otherwise I don’t get paid. No, seriously.

So it’s fitting that I have some big news to tell about one of the ‘secret projects’ I’ve been working on.

Many years ago, the mobile library van was involved in a head-on collision with a library building, in an accident that claimed the life of one writer-cum-librarian, Penny “The Pen” Guin. Since then it has been sitting in a garage waiting to be demolished or salvaged.

Pepper originally wanted to convert it into a mobile children’s library, but it was rejected on the grounds that children shouldn’t be encouraged to enter vehicles with strange adults, and so the idea was shelved. When I became a Library Officer – the crowning achievement of my life so far – I helped her to get the project back on the road, except as a generic collection of traveling books.

BiblioTech gave us a grant to get the Mobile Library up and running, and we put the finishing touches on it yesterday. I painted the van and gave it some of my best artwork – all of my clothes have stripes and smears across them. Pepper gathered the collection from various sources, some of which she had to go to court for.

But now it is complete. We’ve decided to travel out to eight country towns all over rural Victoria. I’m so excited about the prospect of promoting literacy to bogans. I was amazed to hear how few rural areas had a local library; I mean, how can people live in such substandard conditions? Well they won’t have to live much longer (like that) because we’re coming to pay them a visit!

So yeah, we head off just after Christmas. We spend a few days in each town before moving on to the next. I’ve never heard of any of them before, but Pepper assures me she’s had contact with the authorities there and they’ve made all the preparations for or visit. Hooray!

Anyway, before I go I’d like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Crazy Kwanzaa, Really Good Rizal Day and a Fantastic Festivus. Take care over the silly season!

Hee hee, ee hee hee!

-Jay, shelver explorer

#51 Hallowe'en

Dear diary,

Tonight was Hallowe’en at the library, and we put on the best show ever!

Pepper had been organising this for months. She’d put costume design sketches and itinerary documents all around the staffroom, so that it resembled a police incident room. She’d made each of our costumes from scratch, although it was us who were out of pocket – the petty cash jar in the staffroom has seen a lot of use over the past few weeks. I think she felt bad about having missed all the drama that happened last month, and was trying to get all of us (and succeeding in getting herself) excited about this party to bring some cheer back into the library.

I finished my shift at 5:00 and ran to the bathroom to get changed. There wasn’t much room, and I could hear Shannon struggling into her costume in the next cubicle (at least, I hoped that was what she was doing). Pepper had done an amazing job: it looked exactly as I would have imagined a devil-cum-trickster-cum-ghetto-pimp-cum-jazz-club-singer to look like. It took me almost an hour to put the whole thing on, making sure that my bowler hat didn’t cover the horns and that my automated swishing tail didn’t swish where it shouldn’t.

We all assembled at the front desk. Boudecia, dressed in a giant tawny owl costume (quite fitting, considering she can quite literally morph into one), stood beside Pepper, the most awesome-looking witch a library has ever seen. Her hat was crooked to perfection, and I had to duck whenever she came close for fear of losing an eye. Pepper cackled, and set us all to our tasks without breaking character.

Talia walked off towards Junior to set up for the Monster Mash dance. She was a paragon of seduction in her flowing red velvet dress streaked with black. She turned and for a moment I thought she smiled at me, her eyeshadow dark and vampiric fangs glinting. But then TJ, now her boyfriend, ambled past me to join her, stumbling in a zombie-like manner to match his costume. I sighed. Goldie and Ernesto departed together to the meeting room, now the Cave of Scary Stories. It was an unusual sight: Queen Nefertiti being accompanied by a shamanic priest.

We opened the library front doors at 7:30 to let the giddily excitable kids and their reluctant yet secretly impressed parents in. Sylvia and I had rigged the lights so that they emitted only a dim glow. The smoke machine and eerie instrumental music added to the effect. We greeted our guests divided them into four groups of about forty. Sylvia and Shannon – the gothic chick and Death – were hosting a collection of Hallowe’en-themed games in the meeting room; and Pepper and Boudecia roamed the library making sure all was going well, and doing some PR with the parents. That left myself and Bron (a.k.a. ride of Frankenstein) to host the treasure hunt in Non-Fiction.

We had twenty minute rotations so the kids wouldn’t get too bored of one activity. In between them we had five minute breaks so the kids could get drinks and stuff, though to be fair they were more a chance for us to recuperate. Overall the activities went really well. I won’t go into too much detail here as there are heaps of stories up on the library website. You can read all about it there. However, I do have one story which you probably won’t find on there.

THE MISSING GIRL

It was just after the third round, by which time we were stuffed. We’d been running around after the kids making sure they didn’t knock any more books off the shelves – we’d lost a chunk of the 150s when two of the little ones had accidentally head-butted each other and gone sprawling. I was holding Bron’s water bottle to her mouth because she was too exhausted to hold it herself. The bell sounded to signal that the fourth round was about to commence. I heaved Bron to her feet, and as we were psyching ourselves up for the final bout of chaos a girl came running up to us. I can’t find my friend Julie anywhere, she spluttered, she’s six years old, is she still in the maze?

I should explain: it had taken all week to set up, but we’d managed to turn Non-Fiction into a labyrinth. The shelves were naturally designed to lose people in, so all we needed to do to amplify that effect was rearrange them in the space we had and drape a thin black cloth across the top so you couldn’t navigate by following the starward lights. There were neon arrows inside warning kids of where the ‘walls’ were, and the prizes were just glow-sticks.

I dashed inside the maze but could find no sign of Julie. I emerged and immediately notified all the staff. Multiple headcounts and searches revealed nothing about her whereabouts. By this time the girl had become hysterical and was rocking back and forth on one of those tiny plastic chairs from the Junior section.

Bron seemed to have recovered completely from her weariness before. She whipped a radio out of her massive bouffant and told the person on the other end to Go Go Go. Immediately one of the windows by the carrels exploded in a shower of glass. A robot ran in and took cover under a desk chair. The robot looked at a complex-looking device on its wrist, then held it out towards the maze. It ran inside, and after a few seconds of silent suspense it emerged triumphant, a tattered doll held in an iron clasp by an iron clasp..

“JULIE!!!” The young girl jumped off her chair, ran to the pirate and sprang up into his arms. She clutched the doll and cried with joy. The robot removed its helmet to reveal his identity: Bron’s son, Bronson, our shelver. He stood heroic with the young girl around his shoulders for a few seconds, then, slowly, the combined weight of his costume and the damsel in distress took their toll and they crashed to the floor.

We sat around the staffroom after all the parents had dragged their kids home to bed. Everyone was exhausted, but it had definitely been worth it. Can’t wait for next year!

-Jay, shelver explorer

#50 Farewells

Dear diary,

Well, that went well.

I pulled up at work this morning with a sick feeling in my stomach. There was a lot of risk involved in what Shannon and I were going to do today, I thought, so let’s get it over and done with. I rubbed my Shelvation Army badge, the one Talia had given me almost a year ago, for good luck, and walked into the library staffroom.

As soon as I walked in the door I knew something big was happening. Ernesto had come in from the hospital, with crutches. Sylvia was sitting beside him, and looked much more comfortable in her gothic make-up and long black dress than she had last time I’d seen her. Pepper was also there, trying to show everyone her holiday snaps and looking confused that no-one was paying her any attention. Everyone was… waiting.

Viktor and Boudecia stormed in, arguing with each other in that polite managerial way. Shannon waltzed in after them, looking rather smug and holding the damning documents in her hand. She coughed loudly to catch the attention of everyone. Once she had the stage she lifted the document up and announced that in this folder she had something very important to show everyone, and then proceeded to lay it down on the boardroom table. Everyone gathered around ot of curiosity. I couldn’t let her open it and take herself down with Viktor. They’d both be arrested and she’d never be able to work as a librarian.

I grabbed it out of her hands and rushed out of the room. I bolted through the library. Most people made way for me, but one old lady wasn’t fast enough and I had to spin deftly to avoid crashing into her. I snipped the side of her shopping basket and a cascade of fresh vegetables and family sagas went flying into the air.

A kid ran out of his mother’s arms and right into my path. He ducked, terrified, and I leapt over him heroically. That moment ended when I landed on a stray Eric Carle picture book and went skidding into BOB. Injured, I ran past Goldie at the desk and out of the library. I had to take the documents to the police, even if it meant sacrificing myself for the greater good.

My plans were (thankfully) thwarted by the protest that was going on outside the library. Bron had rallied a march against BiblioTech in the mistaken impression that they were to blame for the library’s downfall. I barreled into TJ, who was handing out pamphlets. Papers flew up and rained down on the amassed crowd. I fell backwards, winded, and passed out.

I came to in the staffroom. Pepper was waving smelling salts under my nose. I sat up quickly, and when my vision came to I saw I was surrounded by the rest of the staff: Boudecia, Bron, Ernesto, Goldie, Pepper, Shannon, Sylvia, TJ and… Talia! I jumped to my feet and gave her a huge hug. I was so happy to see her in these tough times. And then I noticed she was holding TJ’s hand, and they were both smiling awkwardly, and I knew that it was going to hurt later. But not yet.

Boudecia beckoned me away from the others. We walked over to the archival room. She nodded, and I pushed the door open. Viktor was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, with a frozen look of pure terror on his face as he watched the ghosts circle around him. The Ghost Man appeared next to me and smiled before floating over to the other staff, none of whom, I noticed, were surprised in the least by his presence.

Boudecia walked into the room and closed the door. I counted three seconds before Viktor’s screams pierced the walls. There was a shredding sound, and another twelve seconds passed before he tore open the door and ran out through the back door of the library, his clothes torn and blood seeping from a scratch wound on his forehead. A white owl flew past me and harried him as he fled the building. I doubt we’ll be seeing him again.

So all’s well that ends well. Mostly. When she returned from her hunt, Boudecia reinstated TJ and Bron on the spot, and welcomed the other staff to return whenever they were ready. Talia explained that she really liked her other job and was going to stay there; another pain I would feel later. Bron jumped in and asked if her son could come and work for the library as a shelver, to which Boudecia agreed. The theft committed at Council the other night was completely overlooked in light of recent events. And that was that, it was back to work as per normal.

I worked at the desk in a dazed zombie state for several hours before Goldie came and laid a caring hand on my shoulder and told me to have a break. I shook my head and ran off to the shelves, hoping that being surrounded by the old volumes would cheer me up. I picked up a reference guide to electrical engineering and sat cross-legged in the middle of the walkway. A gaggle of schoolgirls started giggling at me. I was about to shush them when the Book Man stepped out of the shelves behind them and quietly said:

“Boo.” The girls broke the world record for the fastest panicked group dash. I looked up and caught what could have been a wink from the Book Man before he faded away. The rest of the night went much better after that.

So, I guess that’s it then. I think the events of late have taken their toll on me, so I might give this journal a rest for the time being. It’s been a wild rollercoaster of fun, excitement, heartache and fear, all fueled by pure adrenalin. Who ever said libraries were boring?

-Jay

#49 Unity, part 3

(Previously, in Shelver Explorer: Shannon and I break into Council to recover documents which will liberate the library. As we try to leave the building we encounter trouble in the form of two security guards. The story continues as we are given the ultimatum: surrender or die (well, not literally)…)

I breathed deep, too scared to go for the expected shallow breathing in this ind of situation as it would have alerted the guards to our position. I’ve never been in trouble with the law before! Once I was driving home at night and was pulled over by a booze bus for a random breath test. I hyperventilated so much they had to call an ambulance. I don’t do illegal things! I’m good, and law-abiding. It’s all Shannon’s fault – she got me into this mess!

As I turned to accuse Shannon silently I noticed that she wasn’t next to me. My eyes darted wildly and found her leaning against the doorway to an office, rummaging through the duffel bag. She fished out a pile of library DVDs, ripped out the discs and nodded quickly to me. I dove my hands into the bag and came up with old, thick leather-bound journals. Time for us to check out.

We jumped out in plain view in the corridor. The DVDs went flying at the security guards like shurikens. One got hit between the eyes by a fast-flying U2’s Greatest Hits, stunning him momentarily, and a well-aimed edition of Alluvial Geomorphology: A Compendium Of Field Reports took him down. The second guy copped a barrage of Walking With Dinosaurs and the complete first and third seasons of The Sopranos before falling to a Collection Of Poems By Edgar Allen Poe straight to the face. While the men were dazed we made our hasty exit to the library next door.

We made a beeline for the room where I had first met the ghosts. They were waiting for us there, and once we were inside the door closed and the lights to the rest of the library went out, covering our getaway tracks. I flicked on the light function on my pocket knife, and myself, Shannon and a multitude of ghosts peered over to read the pilfered documents.

We sped-read our way towards the truth. It turns out that Viktor was not actually representing BiblioTech when he took command of the library. He had resigned several months ago over the incident with the other library that went bankrupt, but before he left he stocked up on library technological gadgetry. He had been using our library for a testing ground to see if one could work as a private business rather than a public service.

Shannon, her father and I each smiled in the knowledge that by this time tomorrow we could have Viktor out of the library and our lives (or afterlives). I carefully wrapped up the documents and stored them in a filing cabinet. Shannon promised that she would show them to Boudecia at the next meeting. We left the room and the door shut behind us, sealing itself form the inside. Shannon hugged me and told me I wasn’t as stupid as I looked. She then pecked me on the cheek and walked out through the back door, leaving me alone in the library.

As I drove home I wondered whether I should have said something back the, when I had the chance. If Shannon reveals those documents I her possession, she’ll go down with Viktor and probably be arrested. Even if she doesn’t go to jail for breaking into Council property, she’ll be suspended and won’t be able to work in a library again. I’ve come to admire her since that night; I wouldn’t say I like her, but I do have a newfound respect for her trepidation. I don’t want her to have to leave because of this. What should I do? The next meeting is... tomorrow!

-Jay

#48 Unity, part 2

(Previously, in Shelver Explorer: Shannon summons the ghosts in the library, ad I discover one of them. Together we make plans to infiltrate Council to find documents which will reveal the corruption of BiblioTech. SIR overhears us (can a robot even ‘hear’?) and attacks.)

I dropped and rolled under the Large Print shelving as SIR sped towards me. I managed to avoid its attack but suffered in the process as my T-shirt snagged on a loose hook. As I crawled out from underneath, I heard a RIIIIIIIP sound as half of my top tore away. Feeling exposed in both senses of the word I grabbed a display poster proclaiming the library to be a World of Learning and held it before me. SIR stopped midway through its retaliation strike, confused at the sudden disappearance of its prey. There was a loud THWONK followed by a couple of ZAPs and a BRRRRR-CHUNGGGGGG, and then silence.

I peeked over the poster and saw Shannon holding the heavy Reference book and panting. She was standing over the battered ruins of SIR. She looked up at me with a glint of mischief in her eye, and thanked me for creating a diversion for her. I felt a pang of bereavement for the fallen warrior, but quickly reminded myself that it had just tried to kill me and had almost put me out of a job before. Revenge is a dish best served cold and from behind.

We fitted our camouflage gear in the toilets then waved goodbye to the Book Man and the other ghosts. We left the library via the staffroom. Council is right next door so we didn’t have to travel far. As we walked we talked. Shannon had found out about her father’s ghost after working here for a year. She developed a bond with them, and began doing a four year librarianship course so she could work alongside her dad. I never knew this about her, but now I think I get why she was so spiteful towards me.

We snuck into the council building. Shannon went ahead to deactivate the security system, and returned a few minutes later with a smug look of vandalistic satisfaction on her face. We wove through the many corridors until eventually we came to the Archives. Tentatively I opened the door and discovered a room filled with wall-to-wall folders. The Book Man floated out of one of the walls, startling us both until I remembered that this room was a kind of library in itself.

The ghost led us over to a particular corner and pointed to a folder. I grabbed it and held it so Shannon could see too. I read the documents. They all looked legit, to the untrained eye, but as a shelver I have the ability to notice fine details at a glance – it comes in handy when shelf-reading Reference books and having to pay attention to the 20th decimal number. I found something that looked out of place, something about Viktor…

Before I could finish an alarm siren sounded. Red and blue lights flashed in the corridors and in every room. Shannon wasn’t fazed, just looking mischievously guilty at being caught out. I shoved the documents into a duffel bag like a petty thief and we ran for the exit.

As we were about to turn the last corner Shannon grabbed my shift and pulled me back. I snuck a peek around the corner and spotted two burly security guards blocking the exit. They didn’t look like they were going to move aside for us, and we couldn’t tackle them. One cleared his throat and announced that they knew we were in there and oh boy were we in trouble and that we had better come out with our hands above our heads or there would be hell to pay. Things weren’t looking good for us.

To be continued...

#47 Unity, part 1

Dear diary,

We’d just closed up the library last night. SIR had chased all the patrons out (literally, in a few cases), and so I stored him in his cupboard and plugged him into the power point. Goldie left hurriedly, as though she was afraid to stay one minute longer in the library. It was just Shannon and I left. We hadn’t spoken to each other all night – we’d avoided each other as per usual – so I knew something was up when she approached me in the staffroom.

“Care for a little sabotage, Mr Mack?”

There was a susurrus behind me, and an eerily familiar rasping noise. I froze. Surely not… I forced myself to turn around, very slowly. My eyes were closed. I really wasn’t in the mood for ghosts. There was the sound of books being whipped off the shelves (you become acutely aware of any book-related sounds, working in a library), and then I saw…

The Book Man floated in mid-air directly in front of Shannon. There were ghosts all around the library: from my vantage point I could see them hovering in Large Print, in Junior, in the remains of Community Languages, around the catalogs and the computers, just waiting there patiently.

Shannon and the Book Man were talking to each other in hushed tones. When they’d finished they both turned to face me, and I noticed the uncanny likeness in their features. Shannon must’ve seen my expression, for she then said,

“Jay this is my dad. Dad, this is Jay. He’s not that bright but he’s pretty good with books.”

Suddenly it clicked. “Mr Colin Harper?” I asked.

A receipt paper roll and a pen flew towards us and stopped in mid-air. The pen wrote furiously.

\“Not bad Jay, not bad at all. Please excuse my daughter’s rudeness. I believe her to be inaccurate on one count. You have it in you to do many great things. Which is why I have chosen to appear before you now. I need to ask a favour of you.”

Shannon’s father’s ghost told me his sad story. He had died seen years ago, of a sudden stroke. He remembered falling over in his bathroom one minute, and then wandering around the library the next. He found out from the other ghosts that they were all former library workers who had died in the line of duty. While they can move between libraries using something called L-Space, they are unable to actually move outside of a library environment.

The ghosts were there when BiblioTech took over a different library. It went bankrupt and closed down two months later. The library ghosts lost part of their world, and vowed to seek vengeance on those responsible. Mr Harper explained that he believed BiblioTech had taken over the library without official authorisation. He said (or rather, wrote) that he needed Shannon and I to steal the documents and expose BiblioTech’s fraud.

Part of me really wanted to say no and walk out of the building right then. But I didn’t: I stayed and signed my name on the printer receipt roll in agreement. I knew I couldn’t just leave the library to crumble. It was worth getting a criminal record for, despite Shannon’s assurance that we would never be caught.

Shannon unveiled a plan of the Council building, drawn hastily on a sheet of the blueprint paper Pepper always keeps in her drawers. It stung to think that there was nobody else left from the library who could do this – they’d all left or weren’t willing to put themselves at further risk.

We discussed the best way to break into the building – our swipe cards could get us into anywhere, so that was no drama – and how to deactivate the alarm system. Once we had the documents the ghosts would hide them and essentially cover our tracks. And then we were all set to go. Shannon had brought camouflage gear for the two of us, and I had my trusty penknife ready to perform a multitude of different functions.

Suddenly I heard an angry whirring sound come from behind. I leapt out and tackled Shannon to the ground, just as a heavy Reference book sailed past where her head was a fraction of a second ago. We both looked up from our position and saw SIR, it’s eyes flashing red with the word TRAITOR. Its attached shelving platform was rotating wildly, and there was a mechanically maniacal gleam in its eyes. It sped forward, through the Book Man, coming straight towards us.

To be continued...

#46 Talia

Dear diary,

I got this SMS from Talia yesterday:

hi jay+shan im so xcited!i gotta job @ refugee cntr,my uncle works dere,he sed I cn wrk wif him,lets face it lib is fkd rite now wif bibtek+its munky takin ova,im so sry u guys hav 2 put up wif it,i culdnt do it n ive bn waitin 4 job lik dis1 2 cum along 4 ajes,lv u guys,tlk soon! :-)

So, she’s not coming back to the library then. Normally I have great difficulty in interpreting the meaning of Talia’s text messages, but this one seems abundantly clear. She has found somewhere better and gotten out of the poisonous library environment while she still could.

Maybe I should’ve done the same, and gone back to Adelaide for the apprenticeship. I put it off until December but I know I could walk in any time and they’d be only too happy to see me. So why did I stay? Because of Talia? Well, kinda, but also because I grew to love working in the library. Sure, the staff are crazier than half the patrons (and that is really saying a LOT), and the work’s not all that challenging (I’ve lost count of the number of times distressed patrons have come up to me saying the catalogs aren’t working, when they’ve accidentally switched off the screen), but I really do like it there.

It’s stuffed now, because of Viktor and BiblioTech. Of the original ten staff, six have left. Talia’s found a new job, Pepper’s on vacation, TJ and Bron have been fired, Ernest’s still in hospital and Sylvia’s taking extended sick-leave. Only four of us remain. Goldie looks worn down and scared she’ll lose her job. Boudecia is keeping the place still together, and I think she’s the one thing that’s stopping Viktor from taking full control of the place. Then it’s just Shannon and I, and we can’t even get along.

What happens now?

-Jay

#45 Revolution

Dear diary,

You know how you think you know someone and then they go and do something completely out of character and you realise you hardly know them at all? There should be a word for that. I was rummaging through the 423’s today trying to find one, but came up short. That’s a pity, because that would’ve been the perfect word to describe today.

This past week things have been going from bad to worse. The library is slowly turning into a business rather than a service. There have been increases in costs for printing, photocopying, memberships, requests and public computers. Fines are now double what they used to be, and new fines are being introduced. The other day I saw Goldie reluctantly taking money from a patron because they’d returned a book with a dog-eared page and a handful of post-it notes being used as page markers, because apparently now that counts as Damage to Library Items.

But the worst thing is that the lesser-used collections are being ‘relocated’ to make room for other services which make more money. The first collection to be attacked has bee the NEL collection. According to our statistics, books in other languages have a lower borrowing history than books from any other collection. When I arrived today I noticed that Japanese and French had already gone, and that Arabic was looking set to follow. The NEL collection had been weeded down to just over half of what it had originally been.

I found Bron sitting quietly at her desk in the staffroom. She was looking wistfully at a picture of her son, Bronson, which was stuck to the side of her computer. I saw that there was a stack of Greek novels in her bin, recently weeded. I know how much she hates seeing books be destroyed, even those in bad condition.

Talia walked into the office and I went over to say hi. We both walked Bron stand up and walk into Viktor’s office. It looked so ordinary we paid it little attention. As we chatted I noticed that the voices coming from Viktor’s office were getting louder and more heated. Talia and I listened to the conversation between Viktor and Bron rise into an argument. She waved a weeded German autobiography, Mein Kampf, in his face. Probably drawing upon the similarities, I joked to Talia.

And then Bron drew back her fist and king-hit Viktor. He toppled back into his chair and lurched onto the desk, out cold. Bron dusted her hands and walked back into the rest of the staffroom. Talia started a one-woman round of applause. I was too shocked to move. I mean, had that really just happened? Bron? Really?

Viktor came to ten minutes later, but by then Bron had already left the building. That was at 11am. By 12:30 a crowd had formed out the front of the library, led by Bron. There were a lot of pickets and banners and angry shouts, in a number of languages. Bron whipped out a megaphone and addressed the amassing group of protesters. She publicly shamed Viktor and BiblioTech, and demanded the Council intervene and reclaim the library.

The police came and led the protesters away shortly after, although from the expressions of their faces I could see that many from the police force were of the same opinion about the library. Bron didn’t return to work, but later in the afternoon I was walking past the carrels when I saw her on the other side of the window, sticking pamphlets to it about public rallies against the BiblioTech Corp. She was dressed in camouflage gear and wore a fluoro bandana. When she noticed me she waved cheerily. I couldn’t believe this was the same quiet, middle-aged librarian I’d been working earlier this morning.

I guess it’s situations like this which can bring out a lot in people. Huh.

-Jay

#44 Patronage

Dear diary,

Since being promoted to Library Officer I’ve had only a couple of shifts at the desk. I picked up the check-out system quick enough – it’s just checking-in in reverse – and have served a number of patrons. I have to keep calling over Boudecia to help whenever something new, though I really hate to do it because she looks like she’s got enough on her plate already. I talk about what kind of things I’ve come across with Talia or, if there’s no-one else around, not even one of the patrons, Shannon.

Already I’m getting to know the ‘regulars’; the patrons who come all the time and are well-known by the staff. Here are some of them:

Ukulele Patterson – He’s a busker who, well, busks on the street, his usual spot being a few doors down from the library entrance. He borrows two DVDs every time he comes in, and brings them back the next day. Sometimes he’ll hum a tune while I check the DVDs out to him. He’s chatty and impossible not to like.

The Twins Adagio – These two old women are inseparable, dress alike and one of them has the surname Adagio. Go figure. They chat nonstop to each other about books they’ve read. Eve after they’ve left the building you can still smell their heavy perfume scent in the air, and hear their chatter off in the distance.

Toilet Woman – She brings her kid in the pusher in all the time, to use the toilet. Talia reckons he’s got a weak bladder, and that his mother, whom we gave the unfortunate nickname to, borrows random kids books to try and mask her embarrassment. It’s kinda cute.

Mr War – We call him this because he always borrows books on both World War II. Goldie says he’s researching them for a novel he’s writing, while Shannon claims wholeheartedly that he’s a neo-Nazi because he’s bald. Either way, he always talks to me about the atrocities of the war, which kinda freaks me out.

Lester – This is the guy who made fun of Sylvia. He’s a nasty piece of work, incredibly sarcastic, racist and sexist. I’d heard about him ages ago, from Ernesto. Apparently he’s annoyed every member of staff over the fifteen year period since he’s been coming here. Ernesto told me they can’t find enough suitable grounds to ban him permanently, although a former member of staff, Colin Harper, once tried.

Bronson – Bron’s son comes here all the time. It’s school holidays and he spends probably more time here than his mother. He and I get along pretty well, we have lots in common, but he takes my love of graphic novels and video games to the extreme. Surely spending as much time as he does in fantasy worlds can’t be good for you.

-Jay

(Author’s note: Most of these characters are based on regulars at the library where I work. I could’ve gone into much greater detail about a certain individual who is a lot like Lester, only much worse, but for the sake of making this not an essay I think I’ll keep it simple. For now.)

#43 Special character bio - Viktor

Hello again. Time for a quick break in between writing this thing so I can, um, write this other thing. Thanks to everyone who has read this far – wow, you must really have a lot of spare time on your hands. Evidently I do too.

Every story nee some kind of struggle, something which the protagonists can overcome and learn from in the process. Well, most stories follow that pattern, even Spot (though his learning is more in the form of playing). The firs time around, Jay faced up against staff who didn’t quite trust him yet, strange patrons, a poltergeist, and Shannon. This time it’s Boudecia’s perilous quests, Shannon (again), the BiblioTech take-over, and…



VIKTOR
Viktor (35) is a liaison-cum-library manager from the BiblioTech Corporation, which provides new technology and services to libraries. While a corporation cannot be inherently evil in and of itself, the actions of the people who represent it certainly can be. Viktor cares about money and status more than anything else. To him, providing the public with the best quality of information services is just a means of keeping that power and wealth. The people he works with are competitors not colleagues, and he sees it as his right to keep them in their place (or out of his) when they try to do something he sees as threatening to the things he loves, such as not being as efficient as physically possible.

Viktor plays his cards very close to his hand. He smiles with his mouth but never with his eyes, unless he is getting his way. He regularly finds controlling people easy, and thus is completely thrown by Boudecia, who has thwarted his plans. She is the only thing is preventing him from taking over the library. Well, as you’ll find out, almost the only thing.



Enjoy!

The author

#42 Polarity

Dear diary,

I can’t believe I was so naïve! There I was thinking Viktor was a tough but decent guy, and that Boudecia was an antisocial witch (in more ways than one). Okay, I might be right about Boudecia, but I assumed that because of that she was bad and Viktor was good. I think I need to rethink my thinking after today.

In the morning Talia, Shannon and I were called into Viktor’s office, where he an Boudecia were waiting for us. He invited us in cordially and asked us to each take a seat. There were only two and Shannon hurriedly stole the one closest to me, so I ended up sitting on the floor. Viktor poured us some drinks and handed them out wit that over-friendly smile of his. Boudecia sat and watched us like a hawk, or, to be more precise, an owl.

Viktor spoke at length about BiblioTech’s vision for the future of library services. It started off interestingly enough but soon I found my attention drawing a line, with it on the other side to Viktor. He concluded his speech by announcing that he ad Boudecia had come to a decision about who would replace Pepper while she was on leave.

There was one catch, tough. Since SIR had been introduced into the library there was hardly any shelving left for us to do. Also, there was little call for volunteers in a business such as this library. Therefore, one of the three of us would be asked to leave.

Talia and I exchanged horrified glances. Shannon stared straight ahead at the wall. Viktor pretended to look like he had just made a very difficult decision, but there was a twinkle in his eye. Boudecia’s expression was implacable and gave away nothing. Viktor reached into his drawer and pulled out an envelope.

“Best of luck to each of you,” he said, and I despised him so much at that moment. All eyes were fixed on him as he opened the envelope and pulled out a letter. Slowly and deliberately he unfolded it to read out our names and our fates.

I have to give credit to Boudecia for the next part. She told the three of us later, in private, that Viktor had asked her to make the decision and to type up the letter, probably so he could absolve himself of any backlash. Unbeknownst to him she had been prepared and had made the decision before BiblioTech took over, meaning they had no power over the matter.

She’d promoted us all to the ostentatious position of… Library Officer.

Viktor’s disappointment was evident, and he glared at Boudecia aggressively. She looked back at him, and time seemed to slow around the two of them. I’d seen her do this before and so had Talia and Shannon, by the looks on their faces. We walked out fo the room silently as the two bosses stared at each other, suspended in that moment of mutual hatred.

So now I’m a Library Officer! I… I… don’t know what else to say. If the circumstances had been different I’d be dancing around the house, but I’m just stunned by the weight of everything that’s happened lately. I think I… really need to… sleep…

-Jay

#41 Dressed-up

Dear diary,

More changes are happening at the library, and not all of them for the best. BiblioTech has issued us with new nametags, which is actually a step up from the anonymity of being a tag-less shelver. There’s now also a formal dresscode. I received my shirt in the mail. It’s white with blue stripes and looks quite good on me, I think.

But uniforms don’t work for everyone. Talia looked very uncomfortable in hers, though that was probably more because she had to wear a skirt. I don’t think she’s ever worn one in her life – I’ve never seen her so self-conscious, especially around the older male patrons in the library. None of the women are too keen on the idea. Goldie was ‘informed’ by our BiblioTech liaison Viktor that jewellery was against dresscode policy, and that it gave a bad public image, and that we wouldn’t want that now would we?

She wasn’t the worst affected, though. Yesterday I came in and saw an unfamiliar short Asian girl behind the desk. Thinking she was a patron who’d gotten lost I walked up behind her – she was facing away from me – and coughed politely. She turned around… and it was Sylvia. She looked so, so… unusually plain, that I couldn’t hide my shock. No gothic flowing dress, no coloured and spiked hair, no nail varnish, no make-up. She looked at me dejectedly and turned back to staring into space.

I noticed that, as the shift dragged on, she became slower and more distracted. I saw her standing still for five minutes holding a pile of DVDs in her arms, which she was in the middle of carrying to the trolley. I went off to shelve and was joined by TJ, who was equally worried about her. There was little to do as SIR had finished most of the shelving, so we both returned to the desk to see if Sylvia was alright. And that’s when it happened.

There was a man waiting there, one of the regular “problem patrons”, as I found out later. He was strumming his fingers impatiently on the counter as Sylvia wandered around the returns bins in her zombie-like state. He called her over in an annoyed tone, and as she made her slow journey over to him he started up at her, calling her “useless” and “stupid” and even going for the racist remarks.

TJ ran to her aid and told the man to give her a break, but that just made him angry at TJ. They argued louder and louder. Sylvia looked panicked and hid under the check-in desk, while I stood there like a stunned mullet. It likely would’ve turned into a brawl if Bron hadn’t come then and threatened to call the police if the guy didn’t leave. He stamped off muttering to himself and left, but not before spitting at Sylvia in her makeshift coop. TJ chased him out of the library and down two streets before he was stopped by two men who must’ve though TJ was the perpetrator in what little they saw of the actual scene.

When Viktor caught wind of what happened he fired TJ just like that, with no warning, for “bringing disrespect to the library with his actions”. TJ just huffed and panted – he was catching his breath and trying very much to control his anger. He stormed out without a word. Sylvia was sent home and the rest of us told to get back to work. Sylvia didn’t come in today, and I overheard Bron talking with Goldie that she was taking a leave of absence, effective immediately.

In the space of about two weeks we’ve gone down from ten regular staff to six, plus Viktor. I’m worried about what’s going to happen next!

-Jay

#40 Bosses

Dear diary,

Since Pepper’s gone Boudecia’s been doing all her duties, and it’s definitely made things… different. For example, she now does story time with the kids. Pepper used to let the kids run around the Junior Playground (as she called it) while she read stories, whereas Boudecia makes them sit in rows and columns in complete silence. Yesterday a little boy spoke while she was reading “Where’s My Cow?”, and she made him sit in Teenage facing the wall for the rest of the story. She runs story time like it’s lunch break at a prison, only with less food.

Viktor’s virtually the opposite, and everything you could want in a boss. He always smiles at me, shakes my hand, says I’m doing a great job all the time, even when he catches me reading out in the shelves and I hide my book quickly but I know he’s spotted me doing it. I just have one small, tiny, insignificant issue with the way he runs the library.

Today I was on with Ernesto and TJ. It so rarely happens that there are only guys working that we decided to celebrate this momentous occasion. I had the footy up on the checkout computer so we could watch while we were working, and Ernesto had brought ginger beer – it’s as close as we’re gonna get to drinking on the job. TJ was talking about this girl he really likes, when Viktor came up to the desk and sat with us on the beanbags we’d dragged over from Junior, as Boudecia won’t allow non-standard chairs in there any more.

It was kinda awkward for a moment, then Viktor grabbed a beer from the Esky – a converted Repairs box – and settled in. We watched footy for a bit, then he made a joke about how great it was that we were all enjoying a break, with emphasis on the word ‘all’. It got awkward again. Viktor turned towards Ernesto, who quickly got up and got back to work. TJ and I shifted uneasily in our comfy seats.

Viktor mentioned that he was going to stack the boxes of new books when he got up, and he looked over at Ernesto again. Ernesto sighed and waked over to where the boxes were lying. He went to pick one up but it must’ve been to heavy for him because it stayed where it was. TJ and I started to rise to help him, but Viktor put his arms around our shoulders in a blokey-camaraderie kind of way, told us to enjoy the game and pushed us back down. We both obeyed, and the awkwardness factor went off the scale.

A few minutes went by with the huffing and puffing from Ernesto’s direction being muted by the sounds of the game. He was struggling but Viktor refused, politely, to let us leave our seats. After a couple more minutes we heard Ernesto panting from the heavy weight of the boxes. Viktor looked over, smiled and said,

“Need a hand old man? If you’re not up to it one of these younger, fitter lads can do the work for you.”

Ernesto muttered something under his breath and resumed his labour. He bent down to pick up the last box, hefted it up with great effort, and went to stack it on top of the other boxes. It happened in slow motion. He jammed his finger as he went to put the box down. It fell towards him, winding him and knocking him backwards. The rest of the stack came crashing down.

As the ambulance left I remember Viktor saying that there was no OHS procedure in place, and that’s why Ernesto got hurt. I went to say something and he looked at me and smiled and said how there would be a new vacancy while Ernesto was recovering from his injury. Something about the way he said it struck me as odd, almost like what had juat happened wasn’t all that important. Maybe I’m just imagining things…

-Jay

#39 Convinced

Dear diary,

We got a load of new equipment for the library today. A lot of it’s really cool, like the cordless scanners, which you can use to check-in books from anywhere in the library. They also have portable screens which you can strap to your wrist! It certainly makes in-house check-ins a lot easier.

The coolest thing is this new robot gadget. It has all the above trimmings ad so much more. It’s got incredible AI – it reads spine labels and knows when there’s something out of order. It means I’ll never have to shelf-read again! It’s called SIR (Shelving and In-house Returns) and is meant to be complementary to BOB in that it checks stuff in insead of checking stuff out.

Viktor was there overseeing the whole operation. He’s moved into Boudecia’s office, and even though the others all offered to share their desks with her she refused. Instead she’s using the Reference terminal in the main part of the library, sharing with Shannon. I can see Shannon’s kind of afraid of Boudecia, which makes me feel better, out of spite.

So, new technology, no more shelf-reading, Shannon’s annoyed, and the pay is slightly better. What more could I ask for?

-Jay

#38 Overtaken

Dear diary,

When I arrived at work today there was a sign out the front stating that the library was closed. Confused, I let myself in through the back entrance and found everyone in the staffroom. They were all concerned. Boudecia came out of her office carrying a cardboard box; her birdcage was sitting on top of a pile of stationery and, of course, books.

Viktor came out after her, smiling. He looked like he’d just won a million dollars, however the exact opposite had just occurred – he’d invested $1,000,000 in the library, my library, and ended up owning more than half of the shares. This meant that he had just seized ownership of the library from the council, for BiblioTech Corp.

He explained all of this to us as we stood there bewildered in the staffroom. Sylvia seemed shocked. Goldie appeared gobsmacked. TJ was in turmoil and Bron looked befuddled. I saw Talia grip Shannon’s arm and the two of them wore deeply concerned expressions. I can’t understand why.

Ernesto was first to speak. He began by asking the question that was on the forefront of all our minds: What will happen to us? Viktor smiled another of his smiles and said that we would all keep our jobs. But on one condition: that we signed a contract with BiblioTech Corp to say that we would be employed by them and solely them, with no ties to council.

I wonder how this will affect my work? The others are quite apprehensive about the takeover, but I don’t see a problem with it. I mean, they produce some great pieces of equipment, and having direct access to all of it can only improve services in the library. Right?

-Jay

#37 Sojourn, part 2

(Previously, in Shelver Explorer: Boudecia reveals her powers to me and tells me I must learn more about the library. She and Ernesto lock me in a storeroom where I am attacked by what I believe to be my old nemesis, the poltergeist. The story picks up after I am backed up in a corner…)

The poltergeist stared me down, its eyes flashing an angry red. I saw other spirits swarming behind it. They each looked identical, except for one which had a book floating inside it. It plucked the book out and threw it at me. As the book reached the apex of its trajectory it exploded into a flurry of paper. Several small scraps fell in front of me, and I knew instantly that I should read them.

[You] [flushed] [one of us] [down] [the sin] [k!] [You’ll] [suffer for] [That]

They swarmed me, swiping at me with ghostly claws. Their scratches left no marks but felt cold and clammy, like a cold clam. I closed my eyes in terror; it didn’t help to know that they couldn’t actually hurt me by going full pelt as they were. I began mentally reciting closing procedures to block out their screeching.

Alert patrons we’re closing in 15 minutes. Check toilets. Turn off BOB. Collect in-house items. The ghosts must’ve realised they weren’t achieving anything, and the assaults became less ferocious and less frequent.

Alert patrons we’re closing in 10 minutes. Turn off catalogues. Turn off photocopiers. Refill photocopiers and printers. The attacks stopped completely, yet I didn’t dare move from my huddled foetal position in the corner.

Alert patrons we’re closing in 5 minutes. Turn off printers. Turn off public computer terminals. Take stats. I heard a loud grinding sound straight ahead, and when I looked up I saw the ghosts commandeering a filing cabinet, headed very slowly in my direction.

Alert patrons that the library as closed. Lock the front door. Switch off front desk terminals. Ask the librarian if there’s anything else I can…

I can… do… to help…

I picked up the decimated book in front of me and flicked through the pages at lightning speed, tearing out any relevant pages. Son I had what I needed, and carefully I tore out individual words and lay them down on the floor. The cabinet-cum-juggernaut hadn’t made it very far before I had my message ready.

[S] [orry about] [the other] [pol] [terge] [ist] {I’m} [new] [here] [I] [did] [NT] [know]

The ghosts stopped mid-attack. One floated towards me, its eyes uch darker than the others’. It looked vaguely familiar, yet implacable. The tattered remains of the book flew out of my hand, and small tears of paper fell to the floor like confetti.

[You] [will make up] [for it] [you have] [my] [blessing] [say] [hi] [to the] [living] [librar] [ians] [from me,] [book] [man]

With that, the lights began to flicker and slowly came on. When they did the ghosts had vanished. There was mess everywhere, and there was now a rogue filing cabinet awkwardly positioned in the centre of the room. There was a hole in the wall where it had been – about human-sized – and I tentatively crawled through it. I’m an explorer at heart – if I were a cat I’d’ve been killed by curiosity long ago. The tunnel curved upwards, and I could see light poking its way in. I found a trapdoor handle and pulled, revealing my location: under one of the carrels in the Reference section.

I emerged effortfully and staggered back ot the front desk where Boudecia and Ernesto were waiting for me. Ernesto smiled and patted me on the back, while Boudecia raised her chin ever so slightly to signal her approval.

“Book man says hi,” I said, before stumbling past them both and out the front door.

-Jay

#36 Sojourn, part 1

Dear diary,

For the past few weeks I've been avoiding Boudecia. She hasn't approached me since I witnessed her metamorphosis, and I certainly didn't want to bring it up, so it was fairly mutual. I hadn't told anyone else about it either - I mean, it's not the kind of thing which normally comes up in conversation. I was quite content to leave it unsaid. But that wasn't to be.

She approached me as I was shelf-reading in Fiction. I saw her coming but when I tried to stand I found the pins-and-needles that had set in my legs made that slightly impossible to achieve. I looked up timidly as my transforming boss towered above me, blocking out the fluorescent lighting and casting a heavy shadow upon me.

“Come with me, boy. It is time you learnt more about the library, what it truly is. I eed you to assist a… member of staff.”

Her command was so impelling that I stood to attention despite the protest from my legs. Boudecia led me to the staffroom, where Ernesto was waiting for us. His eyes gleamed knowingly, and I felt a wave of peace wash over me to combat the fierce intensity of Boudecia.

Without a word the two librarians turned and walked toward the locked door at the back of the staffroom. They each reached into their pockets and retrieved identical silver keys. They inserted the keys into the two locks simultaneously. I heard several clicks, like a horde of scuttling scarabs, and the door creaked open.

I walked past the two doorkeepers slowly and entered the room. Behind me I heard a SLAM! as the door shut. I pounded on the door with my fists, but to no avail. The room was pitch black and felt damp. There was a feint ‘whooshing’ sound all around. I brought out my trusty Swiss army knife and turned on the flashlight, then immediately wished I hadn’t.

Pale silhouettes floated around the storeroom, their features translucent and ectoplasmic. They flickered from one colour to the next, never staying one for too long. It was like a rainbow was exploding inside every one of them. My jaw dropped, as did my army knife. The light switched off the moment it hit the floor, and the room was flown into darkness once more.

I bent down to pick up the army knife, desperate to have light, to be able to see the things I now knew were everywhere around me. I fumbled with it nervously before finally locating the right button. The light high-beamed a ghost which was right I front of me. It wore a face I have never forgotten: it was the poltergeist, the one Ernesto and I banished last year by pouring it down the sink. Both it and I stared at each other, frozen in uncertainty. We must’ve reached a decision at the same time, because as I backed away it came towards me, eyes menacing. My back hit the all, and I knew I was trapped here, in a corner in a storeroom, with nowhere to go…

To be continued…

#35 Layered

Dear diary,

Today was Pepper’s last day before she went on leave to get married. She baked a cake for her, then, believing one wasn’t enough, made a smaller cake for each of us, as well as a back-up cake in case anyone as hungry after all that. She needn’t’ve bothered – the main cake had three layers and swayed slightly when placed near the fan. We’ll all be eating cake for the next few years I suspect.

That wasn’t the only major thing that happened today. The man from BiblioTech Corp came into the library to inspect the new technology that had been provided by the company, free of charge. He introduced himself as Viktor (with a ‘k’) to each of the staff, and congratulated Pepper. He installed new software into the catalogue system which allows for more specific and accurate searches. He also showed us the blueprints for a new model machine BiblioTech wants to introduce to assist with shelving, somehow.

Good things always come in threes, and today was no exception. I heard Bron and Goldie talking about what will happen while Pepper’s on leave. According to Goldie, one of us ‘youngins’, meaning myself, Talia or Shannon, is going to be promoted to the esteemed position of Library Officer to work in Pepper’s stead. This is fantastic news! If I get this position I will be one step closer to achieving my dream of running my own library!

I’m u against some strong competition. Shannon’s a tough one and she’ll use every trick in the book (‘How to succeed at interviews’ – 650.14) to steal that job from me. But I’m more concerned about Talia. She’s very good at what she does and it already familiar with the in-house system. As much as I like her, I can’t bear the thought of passing up this opportunity of a lifetime. I’m really sorry Talia, but I’m going to give this my all!

-Jay

#34 Replacement

Dear diary,

I get a lot of different duties as a shelver. Sometimes I'm a sweeper, other times rubbish collector, heavy lifter, patron usher, search engine. Today I added babysitter to that list. Bron came in today with her teenage son whose name is, oddly enough, Bronson. She told me she wants him to start working as a shelver, and that the best way for him to learn would be to follow me and observe. Sure, why not?

When Bron said observe I thought she was kidding, but Bronson did just that. As I shelved he took notes. He studied the order in which I shelved the different sections, the way I organised my trolley, the volume of books I picked up in each hand at a time. At one point he took out a tape measure and measured the height and length of the shelf tiers, for who knows what purpose.

I tried talking to him but he's really shy. Also he was completely engrossed in watching me shelve. After a while I gave up trying to get him to talk, and after an even longer while I had an idea. I delegated responsibility of him to Shannon, reminding her of he duty as a volunteer to help the public. I walked away feeling quite happy with myself, having gotten rid of the timid Bronson and annoying Shannon in the process.

My pleasure was short-lived, however. Shannon found me twenty minutes later and handed me the pick-list. Normally there's only 30 or so items on the list, but this one had 227. She smiled cruelly and shoved Bronson towards me, saying as she walked off that I should show him how to do requests. I sighed and handed Bronson the small manuscript to carry.

The list took us over two hours. When I went to show Bronson how to check-in requests I noticed that the first few books didn't come up as on request. It was like that for almost everything on that list. I was fuming. Smelling a rat, I checked up Shannon's card and sure enough, she had around 200 deleted requests, all within the last couple of hours.

Bron noticed me staring red-faced at the computer and came over to see if I was alright. I quickly hid Shannon's details: as much as I don't like her, I don't want to rat on her, not after what she did last time.

At the end of the day Bron thanked me for showing Bronson the ropes. She said she hopes Boudecia will accept him as a new recruit, seeing as there'll be a vacancy coming up soon. I'm glad I hid my reaction, because it could've gotten nasty otherwise. Vacancy? Does that mean that someone's going to be fired? I'm worried that it'll be me, as I'm the newest (paid) staff member there. Plus, no-one seems to notice or care about Shannon's hostility towards me. Shelvers are pretty expendable and easily replaceable. This isn't looking good!

-Jay

#33 Special character bio - Shannon

Time for an intermission methinks, and a welcome back message. Shelver Explorer was really fun to write the first time around, so much in fact that I knew I'd have to pick it back up later. There was a lot of stuff I didn't include the first time around, including some plotlines and random ideas which I really wanted to write. Writing a second series seemed like a good idea at the time, and hopefully it still is. Anyway, this otherwise seemingly pointless break provides an opportunity to analyse in detail the tenth main character, Shannon. She didn't get a chance last time around so I thought it was only fitting she got one now.



SHANNON
Shannon Harper (21) is a former shelver at the library. She was forced to quit after a workplace accident resulted in her losing the use of both legs (they were crushed by falling, heavy books). She blamed the library for not providing appropriate stoolage, and spent her time in recovery plotting how best to seek her revenge. She kept in touch with the staff, and although she missed the place she vowed that she would have no mercy when the time came. That moment approached when Jay was hired and took over her old position.

Already an avid fan of witchcraft, Shannon turned to voodoo and was able to create a shadow-self inside the library. This shadow-self took the form of a poltergeist which caused some havoc for Jay before he was able to destroy it with the help of Ernesto. Since then Shannon has been trying to find ways to get Jay fired so she might reprise her former role as a (paid) shelver at the library. Shannon is remarkably resourceful and determined, willing to go to any lengths to achieve her goals. She also has a chaotic streak which makes her quite impulsive. Overall she isn't well-suited for the role of Volunteers Officer at a public library, a fact of which she is very much aware.



Happy reading!

-The author

#32 Convivial

Dear diary,

I worked the graveyard shift last night. It's called that because once someone died whilst reading in the carrels, or so I heard. Apparently the deceased, an elderly man with a weak heart, was found slumped in his chair up in the far corner of the library, which secluded him from view by the staff working that night. He was found slumped over a pile of Mills and Boon novellas. The poor man had had a stroke and when he was found in the morning he was completely stiff.

So anyway, I was working with TJ, Pepper and Sylvia that night, and we'd just finished closing up the library when Talia appeared from the staffroom. She and Shannon were going out for drinks and did we want to come? None of us had any plans that night so we all agreed.

We drove down to a small local bar, practically filling the carpark with our combined total of five cars. We met Shannon inside, who waved and said hi to everyone but me. We all grabbed drinks and sat down. I hadn't spent time with any of them outside of work hours or functions, so I felt awkward at first. As the night went on, though, I found myself getting to know these co-workers of mine as they were outside of work hours.

Pepper was talking about going on long service leave as she was getting married soon, and Shannon announced that that was the reason she and Talia had organised tonight. It was clear that I was out of the loop, as I didn't even know she was engaged. I felt quite embarrassed, and so to hide it I stood up and called for a toast. Talia looked at me and gave a quick smile, which distracted me from hearing Pepper and Sylvia say good night to everyone as they were on the morning shift the next day (i.e. today). By the time I snapped out of my happy daydream they'd already left.

Some of Sylvia's friends came in and she excused herself to greet them. TJ and Talia went up to the bar to collect the next rounds, leaving just Shannon and I at our booth. It was an awkward minute with neither of us wanting to initiate a conversation. Eventually TJ and Talia returned, and inevitably we ended up talking about people from work. Apparently a man from BiblioTech Corp. is coming to the library someday soon to update our technological resources, which sounds good.

TJ started complaining about this one guy who had fines on his card and refused to pay them. TJ refused to let him borrow, and the next day he managed to rack up three parking fines. The guy was a parking inspector, and TJ had to apply to the council to get the fines revoked. Unfortunately it also meant that guy's fines were cleared, and ever since he and TJ have avoided each other.

Talia laughed and launched into her attack on why bureaucratic processes are designed to keep the little man (or woman) down. It was a long spiel which I barely understood, but I listened intently to the harmonious sound of her voice. We all had more drinks and talked and joked around until the late hours. I don't know what time we left, but I remember repeatedly telling Talia I wanted her to stay over and that I didn't mind sleeping on my couch, in fact I loved it. I think she was going to say yes but then Shannon forced her into another taxi and glared at me. I ended up walking home and passing out on my couch anyway.

I woke up with the biggest headache this morning. When I got to work this afternoon I looked a mess, but luckily Pepper was in charge and she let me go at a slower pace. I still managed to fall asleep on the cushions in Teenage for half an hour. They're really comfy, almost as nice as my couch.

-Jay

#31 Gingerbread

Dear diary,

It was a long shift this morning. The hours seemed to drag on forever. I'd finished all the shelving ages ago and the other staff were off doing their own things, so I decided I should get some shelf-reading in. Now, as much as anyone who works in a library loves being surrounded by books (well, maybe not Sylvia as she's never read one in her life), there is nothing more tedious than shelf-reading. Making sure every single book is in the exact right place is mind-numbing and turns you into a zombie. I've fallen asleep more than once in the middle of a shelf-reading session, I'll admit.

So I was grateful when, ten minutes into the soul-destroying task, a man approached me asking for my help in locating a book for him. I thanked him profusely for the interruption, slapped my leg several times to get rid of the pins and needles and we were in business.

He took me to the catalogue terminal which was displaying the title, "101 ways to raise dogs" by Marc Beaumont, to be on shelf. Weirdly enough though, it didn't have a call number or anything. This was a Challenge. I took him to the most logical place where it might be, (a) 636 - Pets. We scoured the shelves but to no avail. I then suggested (b) 599 - Mammals, which would mean the book was about dogs in genera, but no luck. He then told me it was to do with different techniques used in other countries, so we tried (c) 394 - General Customs. He explained that the 'dog' was a metaphor for an unruly teenager, so we looked at (d) 649 - Child Rearing, (e) 373 - Secondary Education and (f) 305 - Social Groups, but there was nothing. The man offered that it was also about coming to terms with your own problems and theirs, so we tried (g) 616 - Mental Disorders and (h) 158 - Psychology, unsuccessfully.

I pushed him for any more details he could think of. He thought for a while, then said it was about the author's personal hardships. I took him to (i) Biographies and we looked at all the areas it might be there. When the man offhandedly mentioned that the author was born in the area I checked the (j) Local History Room.

By this point the man was getting confused at being taken back and forth, and I was getting annoyed that it wasn't anywhere to be found. I decided to call in the big guns. I found Ernesto, who gladly accepted the Challenge. He asked the man if the book detailed actual events or whether it was loosely based on the author's experiences. When he responded positively to the latter we scoured (k) Fiction, (l) Large Print and (m) Paperbacks. Suspecting it may even be for younger readers I quickly dived into (n) Teenage and (o) Junior, but there was no sign of the elusive text.

The man was getting uncomfortable, and said a quick prayer in another language. Ernesto jumped upon this, and we discovered that there was a chance the book might be in French too. The man said his English wasn't so good and that's why he wanted to read something easier. This alerted us to scan through (p) Community Languages and (q) ESL Books. Ernesto checked the (r) Display Stands while I peeped (s) Under The Shelves to try and find it.

The man was completely befuddled and ready to walk away from the Challenge, but Ernesto kept a cool-head under pressure. He recommended that he check the (t) Internet or the library's (u) Online Library, but the man said he couldn't use computers because of his vision impairment. Then Ernesto suggested he look in (v) Reference to see if he could find some information on the author there. We took the man over to Reference, and I just happened to notice the very book lying (w) On a Table.

As it turned out, the man had been reading the book and left it on the table, but had completely forgotten until he saw it. He apologised repeatedly, then sat down to read. I saw him walk out of the library five minutes later, and that he'd just left the book lying on the table. I picked it up, looked at the cover and smirked. I knew exactly where this book went, and why we hadn't been able to find it. I replaced it on the (x) Books For Sale trolley and returned to shelf-reading.

-Jay

#30 Hunt

#30 Hunt

Dear diary,

Wow, today was so awesome, I can't even begin to describe its awesomeness. I... just...

...

Sorry, got overexcited and had to have a cold shower. Better now. So, anyway, I got a call at 5am this morning. I'd fallen asleep while reading last night, so I hadn't silenced my phone. The loud blaring tone shook me right out of my sleep, and I quickly answered it before the noise woke my parents. I must've answered with a really gruffly, because Talia's voice on the other end sounded affronted. She apologised for calling so early, but she said she'd be over to pick me up in two minutes. When I asked what was going on, I was handed over to Goldie who said just two words: "Book Hunting".

By the time they arrived at my house I was fully read and had made them coffee and pancakes. Talia was alarmed I'd gotten ready so quickly, but nothing comes between me and a good book sale. We drove along the foggy roads for an unbearably long thirty-five minutes, before stopping out the front of a small warehouse in the outer suburbs. We got out of the car and joined the queue that had begun to form at the front door. Apparently this particular book sale was a big event for bibliophiles.

Goldie took out a sheet of parchment and prized off the wax seal. She unfurled the largest list of newly released books I've ever seen on a single sheet - it stretched twice the length of mine and Talia's armspans put together. She explained to us that as the Acquisitions Librarian, it was her duty to attend these book sales once a year to obtain as many new titles as possible. She said this with more than just a touch of pride in her voice, calm and confident. Our job, Goldie explained, gesturing to Talia and I, was to ensure that we did not miss out on a single item on her list. There was no margin for error. We all nodded grimly, and turned to face our task.

The doors opened at 6am and we surged in on a crashing wave of librarians, devoted fans of popular authors, generalist book collectors and confused morning joggers who had been swept up in the tide. I lost sight of Talia and Goldie almost immediately. A woman landed on top of me, and when we untangled I saw she was wearing a Nancy Pearl Is God T-shirt. She ducked left and I swung right, running towards the FICTION: A-D section. It was sheer pandemonium in that store, with people yelling and shouting to be heard over the din of the raucous crowd. And I loved every minute of it.

I held one third of Goldie's list in my hands. I swindled my way through the human traffic and gathered up in my arms every book I could find. I ran smack into Talia, who was holding two baskets in her hands. She passed me one and as I was about to thank her I was nudged forward. Our bodies pressed together for a few exhilarating seconds before we were pushed apart by the pulsating throng of people.

At one point, just as I'd collected all seven required texts on geography, the crowd parted right in front of me and I caught a glimpse of Goldie. She was standing in an open circle - quite rare in a tightly packed space - and was surrounded by brilliant light. The first rays of morning light were filtering in through the slatted windows, and each was catching a different piece of her elaborate gold jewellery. The effect was one of dazzling luminescence which inspired awe as much as burnt out your eye sockets. This allowed Goldie to move around the sunlit parts of the warehouse unchallenged by the mob, as she only got brighter the closer you went.

By 11am the three of us were sitting inside a cafe having brunch. I had a lack eye from the Nancy Pearl fanatic and Talia cradled an arm that had been badly bruised by a careless man wielding an atlas or four, but Goldie remained unscathed. She tended to ours wounds like an army nurse. We'd all reached our respective quotas, so it had been worth the hardship. Goldie prepared a makeshift cast for Talia's arm, and as I helped her to put it on she smiled slightly at me. That just made the day even better.

-Jay

#29 Self-service

Dear diary,

The self-checkout machine has been broken for almost a year now. It was accidentally damaged during an 'argument' between Sylvia and Goldie, and was thought to be beyond repair. Its status as been "In Technical Services" for so long that everyone thought it was gone permanently.

Then today Sylvia rushed into the library with a beaming smile, made all the more animated by her bright red lipstick amidst the backdrop of her black-and-grey dress ensemble. She said she had a surprise waiting in her van which was parked out the back. TJ said he'd hold the desk while the rest of us went to see what the surprise was.

We gathered in the carpark as Sylvia unveiled the brand new self-checkout machine. It was shiny, it was hi-tech, it even had streamlines to indicate which way to swipe the books. We were all very impressed. Sylvia show off the designs like a game-show hostess. She was clearly very proud of her work. Turns out she and TJ had been given a grant from a library technical services company called BiblioTech, and they’d been working on restoring the machine (and adding a few extra functions) for months.

We wheeled it into the library and up to the front counter. The stand it normally stood on had remained empty for so long that Bron had taken it over and used it to display pamphlets, which she had to hurriedly relocate. Sylvia got Talia and I to heave the machine onto its stand and then connect all the wiring. We shelvers are often used for various tasks involving manual labour.

When it was all set to go Sylvia wrapped the machine up in red tape then cut it, just for effect, and switched it on. It hummed into life and the screen displayed its name: BOB (Borrow Own Books). Sylvia then took it for a test-run by fetching some recently returned items from the desk, which just happened to be a Bob the Builder board book, a music book featuring works by Bob Dylan, and a biography on Bob Hope. All three books were scanned by BOB with a pleasant chirruping sound, and at the end of the transaction a receipt printed out with the due dates and an inspirational quote. We all clapped in appreciation.

BOB performed excellently, and people were queuing up to try it out. Sylvia stood and watched like a proud parent, and when one woman came up to the desk to hand her a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine she cried. At the end of the day we were all lounging around in the staffroom, drained from all the excitement. Sylvia

-Jay

#28 Detested

Dear diary,

That Shannon has been really getting on my nerves. Ever since she started working as a volunteer at the library ('community service', as Boudecia euphemised it) she's been breathing down my neck. Well, that actually began when she recovered enough to not need her wheelchair, because she couldn't reach before, but you know what I mean. It's like she watches my every move and tries to make me look bad.

For example, the other day I was ordering a trolley of Nonfiction Folios, the worst of the worst to shelve. I left the trolley unattended for thirty seconds or less to put a handful of books away, and when I returned I saw her walking off. She'd messed up the order of the folios, and it wasn't until I'd put half of them in the wrong spots that I noticed what she'd done. It took me an extra fifteen minutes to locate the misplaced books and restore them to their proper positions. When I got back to the desk Ernesto was looking at his stopwatch and shaking his head.

She does little things like that to annoy me. She once tipped over a stand of Premier's Reading Challenge book I'd just set up in the Children's section. She mucks up the order of tiers I've just shelf-read. Once I had a wheel come off my trolley, and when I looked over to the Reference Desk where she was sitting she gave me a quick smile. I'm sure it was her. At least she doesn't run over my toes like she used to when she was wheelchair-bound.

I've tried to make peace with her, but she refuses to comply. I noticed she binned the fruit basket I left on her desk. I think she's still jealous because I took over from her job as a shelver. She still works in the library doing odd jobs but she's not getting paid, whereas I am. What makes it worse is that she gets along famously with the rest of the staff, especially Talia. Talia. I wish she'd see the ugly side to Shannon. I feel like that's putting a wall between us. I've tried to work up the courage to ask her out on a date, but whenever I'm just about to Shannon appears and spoils the mood.

I'm just going to have to grin and bear it, I guess. I can't actually prove that Shannon's sabotaging me, even though I know it's her. She's so frustrating!

-Jay

#27 Metamorphosis

Dear diary,

I got to work early today because, strange as it might sound, I really missed the place. What can I say, I like routine. I fumbled around in the glove box for my access card, which is absolutely vital. Not only does it let me into the staffroom at the library, it even lets me into some exclusive clubs free of charge. Talia swears she's even used it to bypass security checks at airports.

Finding my access card, I got out of the car and entered the library back entrance. When I walked into the staffroom I saw Boudecia so I said a friendly "hello", but she didn't seem to hear me. She had her back to me and was unaware I was there. I could see she was rummaging through her drawers (the kind you find in desks, not the other kind, thankfully). Quietly I took a tentative step forward, curious but also careful not to disturb her.

"Mrs Jones? Oh, sorry..."

The words escaped my lips before my brain had time to stop me. Boudecia froze mid-rummage. She turned very slowly, as if on an ungreased turnstile, until she faced me. Her expression was completely devoid of anything identifiable, and in her hand she held...

...a mouse, by its tail. It squirmed helplessly as my boss and I stood locked in silent hesitation. My eyes darted behind Boudecia and saw the birdcage on her desk was open and empty. My gaze fell back upon the dangling rodent. Several hours passed in the next few seconds, before Boudecia finally broke the unnerving silence.

"It's Ms Jones, thank you."
"Sorry."
"I suppose you were going to find out sooner or later."
"Sorry?"
"Tell me Jay, have you ever noticed that this library isn't like other libraries?"
"...Sorry?"
"Of course you've noticed. When you walk along the Reference aisle, if you look up you can see the nests."
"Sorry, I-"
"If you kneel down in the Junior section and look under the shelves you can see the small holes in the floor. Tunnels, in fact, for the mice." She held her captive mouse up as evidence.
"Sorry, P-"
"The intricately woven spider webs on the ceiling in the Local History room?"
"Sorry."
"Or the disused cubicle in the men's with the toads living in it?"
"Sorry." I was struggling to find something more to add here.
"How about Goldie's three cats living under her desk?"
"...Sorry?" A faint mewling sound came from underneath the corner desk.
"Hmm, maybe it is too early for you. However, you've proven yourself in the past. You're a part of this library Jay, one of the staff. I was going to show you eventually, but my plans have been hastened ahead of schedule. No matter. Observe," she said, and dropped the mouse onto the open floor.

It happened so quickly that neither I nor the mouse had any time to react. As Boudecia dropped the mouse se began to shrink rapidly. Her black dress clung to her pale white skin, and then merged with it. Feathers erupted down her arm and face. The end of her pointed shoes split into three claws. All the while she was compacting in on herself, like a sudden implosion. The mouse hit the floor running, but that couldn't save it. Boudecia snatched it in her talon, brought it up to her beak and killed it, in one swift motion.

I stared in awe as I watched my boss-cum-owl devour a live mouse. My brain had shut down and was doing the simplest thing possible: recording information. I could feel this moment being imprinted into my long term memory. No amount of repression could delete this from my head. It was simultaneously the most frightening, fascinating and engaging moment of my entire life.

After she had finished her meal, Boudecia reverted back to her human self in a similar fashion to her first metamorphosis. She walked over to me and placed her tal-, sorry, hand, on my shoulder. Her smile was eerie and penetrating. All I could do was stare blankly at the spot on the floor where the mouse had died. There was a small blood stain on the carpet.

Boudecia sat me down in my zombie-like state and made me a cup of tea. I accepted i wordlessly, still staring at that patch on the floor. She talked to me, saying something about her needing to show me that urgently because her plans had gone awry, but I didn't hear any of it. The other staff began to turn up, one by one. I could tell by the way they acted around me that they all knew why I was in that state. Pepper gave me a big hug and, after receiving an almost imperceptible nod from Boudecia, said I could have the day off. Do something nice for yourself, she told me.

Mum came to pick me up as I wasn't up to driving. I spent the day watching the Stuart Little series on DVD. It was the library's copy, and mum couldn't understand why I cried the whole way through.

-Jay

#26 Reversal

Dear diary,

So, I'd finished all the shelving for the day, but still had fifty minutes left before my shift was over. Bron was flipping through Italian magazines at the check-in terminal, Goldie was wiping down the counters with industrial strength cleaner, and the rest of the staff were out the back in the staffroom; I only recently realised that's where they hide out when they're not on desk. So, out of boredom, I decided to do a sweep.

A sweep is library slang for going around and picking up all the books left on the carrels, tables and floor. Some people are incredibly lazy and leave everything they were reading just lying around. Sometimes you find other stuff too. In the past I've scored a good pen, half a pack of chewies, a phone cover, a briefcase with hundreds of unmarked bills... Often you have to get on your hands and knees and really have a good scrabble around to find things under the carrels. Which is where I was today.

As I was walking past Reference I caught a glint of something shiny out of the corner of my eye. A little ray of sunlight had momentarily chanced upon a reflective surface and lit it up for a fraction of a second, but that was all an adventurer like me needed to spot it. I got down on all fours and had a look under the carrel. The carpet had come up and something was sticking through. Apologising to the person sitting at the carrel, I crawled under their chair and took a look.

I looked at the thing which had caught my attention in the first place: a romance novel with a gold-tinted title. Score one. But that wasn't important at the moment; what was important was the gaping hole in the floor, which had been clumsily covered up with a loose square of carpet. I took out my Swiss army knife, switched on the torch function and held it between my teeth as I pulled back the carpet to look inside. It looked like a small tunnel that lead down into the darkness, too deep for my torchlight to penetrate.

There, about 20 centimetres away. Holding the torch between my teeth I rolled up my right sleeve and wedged my right hand into the small crack. I extended my fingers to enlarge it so I could reach further inside. Slowly, guided by the torchlight, I slithered my hand under the carpet and into the hole. My fingertips scrabbled exploratively until they rested upon the treasure. I dug them into it and dragged it out, careful not to cause any damage to it.

It was a tatty old Mills & Boon cover. Hardly worth writing home about. But what had been under it was much more interesting. I shoved my right hand in again to fech the bundle of old papers. They had yellowed with age and water damage, but they were still readable. As I shuffled through them my jaw dropped. They were the pages from the empty cover, but they were in reverse order. Some sick and twisted individual must have taken them out one by one and put them in the opposite order. What the?

I got the same reaction when I showed Bron. She didn't bother check it in, instead she just dropped it straight in the bin. Even though I was unable to save it, at least it got the respected burial it deserved. RIP M&B.

-Jay

#25 Return

Dear diary,

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss me? It's been a while since I updated, but luckily nothing's changed so I don't have to bore you. Too much.

At the end of last year I went to Adelaide to see what it would be like living over there. I got lost so many times because I kept assuming the city was on a grid like Melbourne. It was a good thing that I'd also forgotten to return a travel guide on South Australia to my library, and had accidentally packed it in my suitcase, so I was able to use the map in that to (eventually) find my way around. I called up to renew the book over the phone - it would look really bad for our record if a staff member had fines owing! When I got Sylvia on the other end she was really excited to talk to me, so we chatted for hours. It was good to speak to someone from work again, as I was feeling quite homesick.

I'm glad to be back in Melbourne now. I never realised how much I missed the sound of traffic at night, or the taste of water straight from the tap. To be fair Adelaide is definitely the place to go if you want for movies, as it hosts the best cinema complex I've ever seen. There are also heaps of festivals - I went to at least ten in the month I stayed there.

It's good to be back though. Strangely enough, I missed my work most of all. Ernesto says it's because I have a special connection with the library, especially seeing as I've been through a lot there already. It's mostly the same as it was when I left, but... I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things, but it feels like the vibe there has changed. It's probably because of Shannon, who's still working as a volunteer because Boudecia feels Shannon still owes the library, seeing as she tried to destroy it last year and all.

Anyways, I think I should start updating this blog more often. Who knows what interesting library hijinks lie just around the corner...

-Jay